Roughly a year ago, I relaunched my blog trying to post regularly about my coaching experiences, women's soccer ( and women's sport in general), and various related topics. The first post from last may was short and covered how I had gotten into coaching. You can find it via this link my-first-real-post-in-a-while.html
Since then, I have posted quite a few times about what coaching means to me, how is has impacted my life but today I wanted to post about how privileged I feel being able to work as a coach in the sport that is my passion. This period between mid-April to mid-August is always tough. While my coaching duties continue, there is limited contact with the athletes and most of the tasks involve administrative functions or preparing for the fall. I miss the regular interaction with the athletes, training sessions, games, team travel and watching the team work towards common goals. It is during this time each year that my feeling of being privileged to be involved as a coach is reinforced and that my desire to get back on the field strengthened. As an athlete, it's often really hard when you reach the point in your career when you're no longer an active competitive athlete and transition to playing your sport just for fun. Different athletes experience this at different ages and for me, it was probably a little earlier than I would have wanted. The end of my playing career really ties into when I started coaching but the reality is that injuries had affected my abilities and I was no longer enjoying playing because I simply could not compete in the manner I was accustomed to. I wanted more. I missed the game and wanted to give back what it has given to me--years of fun, friends, travel, and the interaction that only teammates can experience. Coaching arrived in my life really by accident and little did I know it'd become one of the most rewarding experiences I'd encounter in my life but more importantly the impact it would have on the person I was to become. It goes far beyond being on the field but has influenced me greatly in terms of the values I hold dear. When I started out, I never really imagined that 27 years later it would still be there. At each step in my coaching career, from club, to provincial team, to the National Training Center and for the last 217 years at Concordia, as each role seemed to come to a close, a new challenge presented itself which allowed me to grow as a coach and learn a new environment. For the past 17 years, I have had the privilege of working with university student-athletes and words could not properly describe the joy I get from it. So much of my life is wrapped up in my coaching role that while I know my time at Concordia and by extension coaching as a whole is coming near an end, I cannot imagine what life will be like without it. When I attended my first coaching course, it was the spring after my first full year as a head coach. The previous year, I had finished second in the league, won provincials and finished 1st at nationals. I knew I was still new to coaching but the thrill of early success had blinded me somewhat to everything that was involved in growing as a coach. I was told that I had to attain a certain level of certification in order to continue coaching at the level. My early success and playing experience earned me the chance to fast track my certification but I still had to attend all the courses. The very first thing the the instructor said from the very start ( remember that the course was level 1 , the very basic of coaching certifications) was " No matter what level you coach at, how long you coach for , or how successful you are , always remember that coaches exist for the benefit of the athletes because without them there would no need for coaches. It is your responsibility to be there for them, not the other way around. Never take that responsibility for granted" The second thing that quickly became evident was that no matter how much I knew about soccer, no matter how much I thought I knew about coaching, there was so much that I didn't know. These two truths have stuck with me throughout my coaching career. I have always tried to be there for my athletes, give them the best of experiences, do whatever was in my control to create the best possible positive environment so that each and every athlete had the best chances to develop as athletes but leave have with a rewarding experience. I have always tried to make sure that I never took my coaching role for granted and considered it a privilege to continue in sport. I have also always done my best to remain grounded during successful times in career and realistic during the tough ones. I have sought out opportunities to learn, improve and adapt to changing times and realities. To this day, I remind myself each day that in order to continue having the privilege of coaching, I must accept that I can always get better at it. Becoming a coach and developing my coaching style and accumulating experiences, has been simply amazing. You see the game you love from a different angle--while the feeling of being an active participant on the field with teammates is fantastic, it's equally as fantastic to share your passion with others and show them the way. As an athlete and lover of the game, bringing the joy of a sport to someone else is rewarding in ways that go beyond sport itself. You get to give someone the gift that you were given, and hopefully, foster the same kind of passion for the game that you held. The same way you watched your own skills grow and improve, you get to see in someone else. A younger individual, someone who hopefully has potential, who shows passion for the game and the desire to improve comes to you, and you get to be part of helping that individual grow as an athlete and if you're lucky as a human being. When you see an athlete reach new levels, learn new moves, good recognized for their accomplishments, they aren't the only ones who've accomplished something. You are, too, and there's something incredibly rewarding about teaching others. I am a soccer coach, I have a specific role with the student-athletes I work with but hopefully, I can influence them in much more than sport but by providing them with the tools they will apply long after they stop playing soccer. Some athletes will like me to varying degrees and of course some will simply not. Like with any leadership role, we will never be able to please everyone and some will see me as the cause of everything that goes wrong with their athletic careers. It is the burden one must accept when we become coaches. However, we must accept that fact and continue to do what we think is right as a coach. Being a coach is great because you get to stay in the game, no matter how old you are. You can be more than a player, you can be a mentor, a teacher, a role model. We all have that one coach we remember, the one who made us the player and person we are today--as a coach, you have the opportunity to be that person for someone. I also find that the athletes I work with have helped me develop as a person and have kept me wanting to improve, too. They teach me patience, understanding, and dedication in a whole new light. I am grateful for them. At the end of the day, there's nothing like playing the game yourself--but being a coach is pretty damn close. You get game day, practice, travel, all over again from the other side--and while you might not be the one in the uniform anymore, it's just as great when you grab the win or head off to team dinner and experience the interactions that only those involved in team sports can truly appreciate. For whatever time I have remaining as a coach, each day I have the chance to step onto the field and work with student-athletes, I will pinch myself in the morning and thank my fortune in the evening. I will remember that as much as I might be giving back to the sport, the sport is giving me so much and more in return. I will strive to be the best version of myself and never take my responsibility for granted.
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Women's sport at the professional level is caught in the commercial vicious circle faced by many endeavors in the initial stages of its life-cycle ( we could argue about women's sports being in their infancy but for the sake of today's post, let's assume they are).
The perception of low mainstream or wide range appeal leads to lower interest in investing in women's sports, however as there is lower investment, it reduces the chances for women's sport to reach a larger audience. The legitimacy of this perception is borne out of figures that appear to show a stilted progression in a sector with untapped potential. However, like with many viscous circle situations, something has to change based on a leap of faith, in order to change to outcome. So which might ensure a sustainable long term growth of women's sports ? Should investment be increased so the opportunity to reach a wider audience is possible or must it be proven that there is wide range appeal so that investors are willing to pull out their wallets? In my opinion, in this chicken-and-egg ( another cliché term) scenario, media coverage of women’s sport attracts commercial backing, rather than the other way round. There remains a perception that women's sports on the whole not "as good" as men's sports , as if to reason that men's sports are the benchmark for quality. It assumes that women's sports are somehow a water downed version of the male equivalent. However, why the need to compare ? Here is Canada, each holiday period around Christmas, the World Junior hockey championships attract a huge viewership and interest, but isn't junior hockey a lower caliber version of the pros or NHL ? Ask hockey fans and they will tell you it's different, it's a unique, event driven competition. Ok, so what about junior hockey on the whole, or NCAA sports like football, basketball or to a lesser degree hockey, why do they draw such significant interest and support, when they are themselves, lower quality versions of the professional leagues. My thought, simply that they address the interest of specific groups of sports viewers and sports fans. So why can't women's sports do the same thing ? Unless once assumes that everyone ( and by everyone I mean all males and females of all ages) only prefer watching men's sports, or pros sports ( which my examples above dispute), then one should arrive at the conclusion that there is an audience for women's sports, professional, national team competitions and event driven completions like the Olympics. When it comes to women's sports, it is not about improving the standard of sport. It is about continuing to improve the profile of women’s sport. Humbly, I would add that everyone has a role to play in this: broadcasters, commercial sponsors and, in particular, the sports themselves and how they market themselves and target desired viewership. One path is to ensure regular exposure for a women’s sports properly to enable it to develop story lines throughout a season. When sports are event driven, it generates interest in the moment for reasons beyond the sport, the tie in with men's sports, nationalistic pride, and to some extent the scarcity of the Olympics itself generates interest. If the games took place every year, would they still generate the same interest and investment ? I am pretty sure the answer is no. For women's sport to grow, they need to ensure there is a regular schedule of high-quality events and competitions outside of the usual spike of interest around major tournaments ( Olympics or World Cups), giving sports fans the opportunity to engage with the teams and athletes which leads to a sustained interest. Investment is about putting in money, to make money. So we can’t expect broadcasters to shoulder the cost of expensive sports production if perceived demand and potential return isn’t there. We can’t expect the media to pick up and televise a bad product just for moral reasons. I actually think that would only serve to make things worse, However, the media makes choices that can have an impact on interest and will often choose obtuse ‘sports’, darts, mini-putt, national spelling bee, lumberjack or firefighter completions, for example, when women’s sports such as soccer, hockey and basketball would garner greater viewership ( or at least I think I am safe in saying they would. Keep in mind though, that with the advent of various technological platforms, then neither should we consider that broadcasters are the only route to content distribution either. If solid progress is being made in terms of coverage of women’s sport, it has not yet been illustrated by hard figures, even though the appetite for women’s sport is increasing. Try and research the highest earning female athletes and I would guess that tennis players make up a bulk of the top 10 or 15. Ok I don't need to guess, I actually looked it up. And who might the non-tennis players in the group include, Danica Patrick and Rhonda Roussey to name a couple. So what do these athletes have in common ? Tennis, NASCAR and MMA, have a direct tie in to men's sport. It is also a myth hat only women will watch women’s sport and it’s important that rights-holders and broadcasters recognize that. I tried googling some research date and I found a reference ( Research Agency Sportswise October 2015) to a study that 72 per cent of men and 70 per cent of women are interested in elite women’s sport, while 57 per cent of men and 55 per cent of women are more interested in women’s sport than they were in a few years earlier. So this was in 2015, I would be interested to find some more up to date figures ( still looking). While the popularity of certain women’s sports events is also driving real financial returns. However, women's sports remain event and market driven. They do not yet have a wide appeal mostly because the coverage is not evenly spread among markets. In addition, revenue generate by women's sports, does not at the moment seem to be filtering down to the athletes for many sports. Tennis and golf, plus a few other niche sports allow female athletes to make great livings, but taking the example of soccer and hockey, sports that generate significant commercial, marketing and financial opportunities for sponsors and networks however in both cases the USA national women's team on those sports were in conflict with their national federations about getting a compensation which was equitable for the time they invested in the sport and more importantly fairer when compared to male counterparts and as a ratio of the revenue generated. Viewership numbers and the increasing number of major sponsors for some very specific women's sporting events would see, to provide evidence that things are beginning to change when it comes to commercial investment in and viability of women’s sport. However, it is still very obvious that there is still a battle with many potential inverters seemingly unaware of the value of women’s sports. Meanwhile, other organizations pay lip service to women’s sports. In addition, there is an issue in how the world of sport classifies ‘sport’ itself, that it still tends to be through the use of men's sports as a benchmark, A shift in perspective is required from top to bottom, from grassroots to professional and national team levels. While many feel that female sports stars are undervalued as well as under-represented in the media, this represents an opportunity for commercial partners to strike a bargain. There has also been a concerted effort by some brands to engage the grassroots with all-encompassing campaigns aimed at the general public for the future development of women’s sports. It would appear that the savvy brands recognize that investing in women’s sport is a long-term game and therefore requires a focus on the grassroots, with a view to boosting the fan base and ultimately the talent pool in years to come. By enhancing the marketability of elite female athletes, the idea of success in women’s sports becomes more attractive and the talent pool expands. What needs to be done as an industry is build the brand of individual female sports stars. While in men’s football alone you have hundreds of individuals adored and looked up to by fans around the world, the same cannot be said for women. In fact, for the average person, it would likely be a struggle to name 10 famous current female soccer stars if put on the spot. Expand that comparison to other sports and evaluate how many female sports stars are household names. Many that are considered the biggest starts might have nothing to do with their athletic exploits but rather on looks or via marking campaigns based on selling them as individuals and not as a part of a collective elite level sport. Women’s sports must have an entirely different approach that is appreciative of the things women want from sport versus the things men want. What might make men's sports interesting might not be the same for women's sports. Instead of playing the comparison game and looking for similarities, why not focus on what makes women's sport unique. t is clear that many in the sports industry – from sponsors through to media companies – are missing a trick as they refuse to consider deviating from the traditional male audience. The long-held argument that women’s sports are not of a sufficient standard in which to invest for a positive return simply does not stack up. Granting women’s sports greater exposure opens up a valuable future revenue stream for broadcasters and brands alike. The moral case for giving women equal exposure in sport, however justifiable, doesn't need to be the only reasoning. Investing in women's sport can actually be smart business. The industry of women's sport must work to educate girls and women on what success in women’s sport can look like, creating a more attractive career path and eventually a richer pool of talent – a change that needs to take place from grassroots levels up. Keep in mind that women's sports represent an untapped market of potential viewership. While some things change, one reality that remains is that women still make up a significant percentage of the budget decision makers in households. If for no other reason, why wouldn't marketers want to target them by providing them with an entertainment option they can more easily relate to. We have seen a small number of insightful companies, enlightened governing bodies and forward thinking organizations beginning to disrupt the vicious circle of under-investment. Smart business is about seeing the opportunities before others and taking a leap of faith. Why wouldn't anyone want to invest in something that is made up of a peer group that represents more than 50% of the population. to be continued .............. Over the past year, I have posted various items on this blog about being a male coach working in female soccer, some of the bias and stereotypes women in coaching face, gender pay disparities related to coaching and other related topics. You can look back at some of these prior posts via the links here. There are others but these might give an insight into my opinions on the topic of gender disparities in sport and coaching. not-a-male-feminist-but.html a-male-coaching-female-soccer-0-less-credible.html the-flawed-logic-of-the-gender-pay-disparity-in-soccer.html coaching-women-vs-coaching-men.html opening-doors-for-women-in-coaching.html more-women-in-coaching-revisited.html why-cant-women-coach-mens-sports.html maybe-not-so-special.html Writing on this blog has become a bit of a hobby, a way to share my thoughts and experiences about soccer and coaching mostly but also a few other related topics. Throughout my life, I have loved reading, it was an escape, it was a way to stimulate the imagination, broaden horizons and pass the time. I also always had a part of me that wondered what it might be like to write, mostly write stories , but write in general. Like many, with technology , social media and the web, I know get to share some of my writing with an audience through a medium that doesn't cost my anything. This website builder allows me to track visits to my site and blog. I seem to get quite a few visits, especially on the days I actually post new items but I can't obviously tell if people read the blogs fully, enjoy them or find them interesting and useful. However, the point is, I enjoy sharing my thoughts and writing on the blog the rest is out of my control. I bring this up because I have on occasion been asked questions like, what make me think people want to know my opinions on certain topics, or why do I think that I am in a position to share about certain topics. Simple answer, I write about what I know ( or think I know ) and about how I feel concerning situations or issues I deem important ( and mostly important to me). When I thinking about different topics to post about, obviously anything related to coaching, to soccer and to my involvement coaching student-athletes at Concordia are easy options. The fact that my 27 years in coaching has exclusively in women's soccer, I feel it gives me a unique perspective on some of the gender related issues and bias faced by women in sport. Does it make me an expert ? Far from it, but it also doesn't make my opinions any less credible. That brings me to the title for today's blog post ' Maybe we can relate and understand but we can never really know" . Simply put, as a male, I can never we really know what females in the coaching ranks or in sport generally have faced in terms of bias, stereotype or discrimination. I have seen it first hand and up close, I have fought against it, but I can't ever say I have personally experienced it. And like many things, if you haven't experienced it, can you really know what feels like? The answer is NO ! I can't and I can't or should never give an opinion that seems to reflect the notion that I can really understand its effects. That is why I shared the links to prior posts above so that maybe, people that read today can look back at what I have written in the past and tell me if I do come across like that but also maybe compare it to this post. Gender bias and inequalities still occur today in many parts of society, I can't comment of many of those parts but I do have a unique perspective to comment on how they happen in sport, as much via my path in coaching than having seen my wife experience them as both a high level player and elite level coach. The reality remains that even today, there exists an atmosphere that diminishes women athletes’ and coaches' accomplishments, defines them by the men around them, places them in tired stereotypes of sex objects, or infantilizes them as “girls.” Some journalists, in combination with a robust social media discussion, are calling this bad behavior out. But should we be so surprised? Women's sports are still seen for the most part as some sort of lesser quality or water downed version of the male equivalents. Female coaches, remain in a significantly minority, even in roles with female teams. In general, the qualities of sport – competition, confidence, physical strength, aggression – are seen as masculine, while characteristics of cooperation, passivity, and dependency are coded feminine, raising suspicions about women’s capacity to excel. Masculine dominance has helped to define the parameters of what it means to be a coach. Many men involved in coach, whether at the youth, school, competitive levels will often cite that notion that without a spouse’s support, a coaching career would be difficult. However, often times, one predominant reasoning as to why women opt out of coaching is due to family pressures, starting families etc yet how often do we talk about men needed to opt out to support their families. Arguably, the relationship between masculinity and athletics provides men with the social compensation necessary to remain in coaching in a way that does not operate for women. When we move onto the discussion about why we find very few and pretty much no women coaching men's sports, many will say women wouldn't have the strength, athleticism, authority, and leadership abilities to be effective men’s coaches. We often hear the argument that men's sports are a unique environment, one that women just can't understand. The understanding of the nuances of the men’s game versus the women’s game… for a female to go into a men’s athletic team and command respect from those guys, it’s difficult. That since a women has never played at that level, somehow she wouldn't be able to relate to the requirements. However, putting a male in charge of a women's team doesn't seem to come with some of the same gender related concerns. Let's look at two recent developments in soccer coaching. In Canada, John Herdman, who has been with the women's national team since 2011, was moved into the role of head coach with the men's side. Reactions to the news were quick and mostly negative, how could someone with no coaching experience at the high level be considered a candidate to coach the men's team. No experience ? Taking the women's team from 12th to 4th in the world, back to back Olympic bronze medals, making New Zealand, a small country among the top 15 women's teams in the world? Well how successful were all the males who had coached Canada prior been ? The bias against him is not because of his gender, but because of being involved in female soccer. So if people question his credentials, imagine what they would say about a female who would go through the same situation. Roughly at the same time, Phil Neville, an accomplished former professional and international with Manchester, Everton and England but with limited coaching and zero head coaching experience was named to the top position of England's women's team. Advocates of the women's soccer were shocked by the surprise announcement however, in general, no one questioned how someone with no head coaching experience could be given the reigns to one of the top national teams in the country. As if somehow, being a male and former professional was sufficient experience to coach women at this level. So how come, none of the stereotypical explanations as to why women's can't coach me, don't apply here? I am not saying he won't make a good coach, I am just surprised why his complete lack of involvement in the women's game is not an issue Many comments ( usually made by males) continue to highlight the assumed biological connection between men and leadership. There is still those that will claim that the leadership traits are much more apparent in males. Additionally challenging is the perception that taking orders and guidance from a female threatens masculinity and calls into question male superiority in a male dominated field. Stereotypes about men’s competitiveness and women’s need for emotional bonding remain prevalent, and if these are carried into hiring decisions it is easy to see why male coaches are favored. Yet, if gender differences are so true, we would expect to see same-sex coaching across the board, instead of the current disparity. Instead, there difference only legitimated women’s absence and was not used to question men’s presence as coaches of women’s teams. We will often hear about " hiring the best possible coach " for teams but if we limit candidates strictly on gender as a starting point, are we really looking for the best. In my years of coaching, exchanging with female peers, I haven't had many say they would absolutely want to men’s teams and nor were they upset at being denied access to these positions. However, more often that not, it was more an issue of having access to lucrative positions coaching women. IF we observe with an unbiased eye, we can easily see the amount resources and opportunities played in incentivizing men into coaching positions. It's why even paid coaching positions for females teams are deemed lucrative for males although it might not be their position of choice. We often hear the expression "glass ceiling" in reference to barriers in the work place based on gender, but maybe when it comes to coaching we have a type of “glass wall” where a reality exists 50 percent of jobs (those coaching men) are off-limits, thus if women coach approximately 50 percent of women’s teams, it’s “fair.” We see that unquestioned assumptions of gender difference supported perceptions that masculinity and men were superior to femininity and women. These stereotypes that go back years reflecting societal perceptions that somehow male athletic superiority justify gender disparities in coaching. Through the countless hours spent on soccer fields watching games, scouting players over the years, I have seen ( and continue to see) refs go to a male assistant coach before the game assuming he’s the head coach. Referees will still officiate females different than males. Certain challenges in a women's game will be whistled as a foul while we simply be seen as a competitive tackle in a men's game. I have personally witness officials ( mostly make I will say) treat female players and coaches who talk back, question calls or make comments must differently than when dealing with males players, like its not ok for a female to question his abilities. Female sports in general are growing, but not for everyone, and that’s a problem. The ugly truth of is that bias, cultural expectation, and lack of opportunity keep it out of the hands of women who want to help them flourish. It wasn’t always this hard for women to break into coaching. When women's sports were seen as recreational and paid coaching positions ( even for part time , competitive roles ) were rare, makes didn't really look to those positions as interesting. In the US, if we look at the NCAA, one of the factors that most impacted the number of female coaches was Title IX, the education amendment that decreed that federally funded institutions cannot discriminate on the basis of sex. Athletic programs had to provide equitable opportunities for athletic participation to their male and female students, including funding coaching staffs equally. The infusion of money into women’s sports caused a boom. As women’s programs began to grow in support and prestige after Title IX, men found coaching jobs more and more attractive. On a smaller scale, when I started coaching women's soccer, back when clubs didn't provide any compensation for coaching even the so called competitive levels, anyone wanting to coach female teams often had the choice of teams while the male teams had many candidates showing interest. As invest increased, many saw coaching a female team as a potential stepping stone and viable option towards coaching " real soccer" later on. Many women are simply made to feel like outsiders in their sport by the men in charge. My wife was the first female head coach in a local club. It was mostly comprised of boys teams but had 3 girls team where the other two were coached by males ( someone's dad as was often the case in the 90s. She was exposed to comments and treatment based on both being a female and being in charge of a female team. Add to the mix being somewhat younger than her male counterparts and those in the executive positions at the club, she was forced into a sort of " go along to get along" situation if she wanted to stay in the role. For years, those responsible for hiring head coaches overwhelmingly tended to be men, and men tend to hire other men. Fast forward 20 years and look at the current landscape, have things changed ? I would argue yes, a bit, but not as much as the rest of society has seemed to change. Men have better, more established networks in other male coaches, giving them the edge in mentoring and job placement. Without an obvious route in, aspiring female coaches have difficulty picturing themselves being able to break into the boys’ club, even when they’re as qualified as male applicants. I hate the idea of being someone who perpetuates stereotypes, but from experience, women are more confident on the surface, but when you scratch sort of a little bit below, there’s a lot of self-doubt. I don't think its inherent in being a female but rather the bias they have been exposed to by their involvement in sport, by getting smaller pieces of the pie and seeing barriers put up as they wanted to progress. Men don’t have that doubt. They’re missing certain coaching qualifications to work at a certain level or age group, they still think they’re the best applicant for the job on the female side of things. I personally have encountered male coaches who have never coached one day in women’s soccer and they feel like they can coach women easily. Then, once women get their foot in the door, break through the barriers and get a chance in coaching, advancement can be just as difficult, at any level, as entry. What tends to happen especially with in youth clubs, club decision makers "decide" to let a woman coach a team and maybe the results aren’t there right away, and so they get impatient and pull them off, or a woman starts to have a little bit of success with a team and pushes them up into a little bit of a higher level, and now the men in the club come in and take the team, because there’s a little bit more prestige in that team. This tends to happen in soccer from experience but I imagine it might be true in other sports, more often that not around the U15 and U16 age groups, maybe as players are getting scouted for elite level teams or university. Coaches in these age groups want to both impress scouts and make their own connections for future jobs. The most important step is to remove the initial barriers that prevent interested women from getting into coaching. Current conditions don't make the prospect of getting into coaching interesting, that is the start, getting former players involved. Then once in coaching, providing them with equitable opportunities for development as coaches. What many female coaches really need is for people in hiring positions to expand their job searches beyond the usual pool of male candidates. Most clubs are recreational and non-profit organizations with registered members ( I would assume a certain of them female) so why isn't representation equitable? The visibility and presence of women can help influence attitudes toward their place in sports and how their work intersects with their personal lives. Changes can be built from both the bottom up and the top down to help make a real, pervasive, and lasting difference. But people in positions of power have to want it, too. Women are already trying to get over, around, and through the barriers in their way. Clubs, schools, and federations should be doing their best to tear down the walls. They are, after all, the ones who put them there in the first place. In my own little part, for the last 6 or 7 years, always tried to identify players in my program who show and interest in coaching and give them the chance to be part of the coaching staff after they graduate. I do my best to expose them to the environment and support them in developing as coaches. As the title of this post say, I can relate and understand some of the bias females face but I can never really know what they face or have faced. But I can and I will, do my part to try and improve things, even if only a little bit. The questions is often asked, " Are leaders born or made?" .
It’s a tough question, but it’s a little of both. There is no set “leadership” personality type, and leaders come in all shapes and sizes. Some children seem to be natural leaders whereas other children seem to be natural followers. Often these traits are linked with whether they tend to be introverts or extroverts. The extrovert is often the leader and vice versa especially among younger children. But this doesn’t mean that if a child is naturally shy he or she can’t be a leader. It also doesn’t mean that if a child is a “natural” leader that they are going to be an effective leader. As most adults know, there are many people in leadership positions who are terrible leaders. Question a group of coaches or managers about what leadership skills they look for and you could end up with as many different types of answers as you have individuals answering the questions. In younger people, leadership is also often linked to self confidence. I do believe that certain people "have it" , have that skill set that will make them a leader among their peers, however coaches can nurture or stifle it by the way in which they coach athletes, especially at the younger ages. In my various roles, I have seen both, athletes who I could see right away were leaders, by their actions, their body language and the way they interacted with peers. However I also saw athletes who initially did not appears to have the profile of nature leaders but once given the chance ( and supported throughout the process) thrived. However for today, I want to focus how we can empower youth via sports to develop skills. It's about giving them the tools and opportunities, the choice however whether or not to step into leadership remains with each. Many psychologists suggest that we all have a core personality, but that our experiences also change who we are over time. A child may not be a leader right now, but that doesn’t mean the assumption should be made that they can't ever become one. It is important keep trying to build their leadership skills. They just may not be ready yet, or haven’t had an opportunity to show their leadership skills. Leadership is linked with self-confidence, and a child will be far more likely to lead in a familiar situation than a new one. Giving youth added responsibilities in a new situation is just going to make them feel pressured and nervous. Imagine asking a child to be captain in a sport they have never played before. Compare that with giving them a leadership position in an environment where they are considered knowledgeable or experienced. A common mistake made by coaches and many others is assuming that the best players or performers should be the leaders. This isn’t true. Sometimes the best players are the worst leaders! I have seen naturally gifted athletes that were terrible leaders because they didn't have to work hard to obtain success and over time might take their abilities for granted. Someone with great training habits and work ethic and who has to always been at their best to succeed may lead simply by example. Don't be afraid to point to them as examples to follow. A true leader will come with strong problem solving and decision making skills. The ability to read situations, take in information, adapt to changing realities and make decisions based on the information available are all traits of strong leaders. Being able to deal with adversity and chaos while keeping a cool head are also traits of leaders. For younger individuals and athletes, these can be further develop by letting them make decisions for themselves. Realizing that sometimes decisions have negative consequences is part of development. We’re all familiar with the helicopter parent who “hovers” over their child. This can also be true of coaches. To become a leader, they need to be empowered to make their own choices. So accordingly, they need to experience the opportunity to make decisions, even simple ones. For more complex decisions, work with them to decide what options are available and the pros and cons of each option. Research suggests that people are more willing to be led if the leader is conscientious, agreeable, humble, and shows integrity and gratitude. These are traits that can be taught or encouraged. What follower wouldn’t want to be encouraged, praised, and be treated fairly? As a coach, set the example with the team but also show them examples, where a leader has demonstrated leadership traits. How can you expect your athletes to demonstrate leadership skills without seeing them from you as a coach? Too often, coach want to control the team environment too much. They will cut drills short when it seems the players are getting frustrated, they will balance out teams in scrimmages when one seems to be a little too dominant. Sometimes it is the best thing for them is to let the situation unfold so they can experience failure. In sports ( and in life) a positive outcome is not always realistic. There are going to be situations where regardless of ones best efforts, the outcome will be a negative one. Be supportive during tough situations, but let your athletes fail when appropriate, and use it as a teaching moment. Ask them "What can you learn from this experience so that you don’t make the same mistakes?” A good leader knows that you have to work hard to accomplish your goals and that you just have to keep at it until success is achieved. A great leader can inspire everyone around them to fight through the tough moments. Similar to perseverance, positive thinking can be taught. It requires you to set the example, but also try to reverse negative thinking. Think of the coach who after a tough game might say something like “We were horrible compared to that team. They’re far more experienced, older, and bigger.” It might be true, and the team might have just experienced a thrashing, but help them find something positive from the situation. Everything can be a teachable moment. The athletes need to feel a sense of empowerment to change their situation. Winning isn’t everything, and it’s important especially at the youth level to create environments that support the development of both the sport specific skills but also the soft skills ( leadership, problem solving, teamwork, etc ) rather than just focus on the win-loss record. Coaching and empowering leadership is also about treating all athletes equitably ( on a side note, I had previous written a blog post about whether athletes on your team should be treated equally or equitable. For reference you can find it via this link equity-vs-equality-in-coaching.html ) Not everyone is or should be a leader. Some prefer to be followers and that’s perfectly okay. It’s important to remember that while you use these points to build leaderships skills in athlete, leave it up to them to determine whether they want to lead. If they don’t, accept that and don’t push the matter. Later in life they may choose to lead and will then need the skills you’ve helped them develop now. Sports remain a great vehicle to teach life skills and lessons that will be useful long after their sports careers are done, but in what should be a fun yet competitive environment. However, their a lot of factors that affect this. Up to each coach to best manage it. Commençons avec l’évidant, non, je ne suis pas un parent d’athlète. Je ne sais pas ce qu’est le sentiment de voir son enfant fouler le terrain et être en compétition contre d’autres jeunes de son âge. À en voir la réaction et les agissements de certains parents, il doit certainement se passer quelque chose de spécial à l’intérieur d’eux. Cet article ne se veut pas une critique envers les parents des jeunes sportifs ou sportives et certainement je ne serais pas bien placé pour donner conseil à aucun parent. Je partage simplement mes idées que je vous partage dans le but de créer une réflexion et/ou une discussion. Durant ma carrière d’entraineur, à vrai dire, je n’ai pas souvent été confronter à devoir échanger avec des parents de mes athlète vu leur âge ou même le niveau des équipes avec qui j’ai travaillé. Par contre, oui ça m’a déjà arrivé, oui j’ai eu des parents qui se pensaient tout connaissant et dans le droit de partager toutes leur critiques et suggestions de comment l’équipe pourrait mieux performer. Mais surtout, ma connaissance sur le sujet vient de mes échanges avec des entraineurs débutant(e)s lors des cours de certification ou de mes observations des parents sur la touche lors des nombreuses heures que j’ai passé à faire le tour de terrains dans mes fonctions de dépistage que ça soit pour les équipes du Québec ou universitaire.
Le sujet qui sort souvent lors des discussions avec les jeunes entraineurs c’est bien sûr les rapport coach- parent. Entraîneurs, officiels, responsables des clubs sportifs et enfants se plaignent que les parents sont maintenant rois partout. Ont-ils raison? Est-ce que les parents vont trop loin? Est-ce que les parents sont jugés trop vite? Même si vous n’avez jamais assisté à une compétition sportive de jeunes enfants, je suis sure que vous pouvez vous faire un idée des scènes qui peuvent se dérouler. Les jeunes ont de multiples raisons pour faire du sport. Assurément, voir ses parents dans les estrades fiers d’eux fait partie de la liste. Je ne dis pas que ça devrait être la raison #1 pour se motiver à faire du sport, mais c’est tout de même important pour lui (ou elle). Pour ceux parmi vous qui ont fait le tour des terrains ou arénas, je suis certain qu’à un niveau ou autre, vous avez été témoins de moments ou des font pleurer de jeunes arbitres, gueulent contre des enfants qui ratent le filet, harcèlent les entraîneurs, bref ils sont de coriaces gérants d’estrade lorsqu’ils se mêlent du sport que pratique leur enfant. Par contre, comme entraîneur, je me suis posé cette question : jugeons-nous trop rapidement ces parents? Est-ce que nous avons pris la peine de leur expliquer les règles du jeu, les objectifs que les entraîneurs établissent pour leurs enfants et le rôle clé joué par l’entraîneur dans le développement des habiletés des jeunes athlètes, les responsabilités de l’officiel dans le déroulement du jeu? Ma réponse est non, sans aucun doute. Comme beaucoup choses dans la vie, la déception et la frustration viennent quand des attentes sont pas réalisés. Et alors, les attentes que les parents pourraient avoir envers les performances et le development de leurs enfants pratiquant les sport viendraient d’où ? Nous avons trop souvent le réflexe de blâmer rapidement les parents agissant comme spectateur. Je ne veux pas ici justifier les comportements déviants de certains, mais je crois que nous devons être plus proactifs afin de trouver des pistes de solution au lieu de s’attarder uniquement aux problèmes rencontrés. Pour les entraineurs ….. Il y a des actions qu’un entraineur peuvent faire avec les parents pour essayer tout de même à expliquer sa vison, ses attentes, les règles d’équipe, et voir si c’est possible que les parents soient tous sur la même page. Ça ne veut pas dire que ça règlera toutes les problèmes, loin de là, mais par contre, les parents « cas-problème » pourraient se trouver dans une petite minorité et sentant qu’ils ( ou elles) n’ont pas l’appui des autres parents pourraient être moins bruyant. Quelques conseils que je pourrais donner selon mes observations et expériences ;
Pour les parents …… Sachez que les jeunes veulent sentir l’appui et encouragement de leurs parents. Il n’y a rien de mal à vouloir qu’ils ( ou elles ) réussissent et se dépassent, mais ces moments sportifs devraient être des moments ou eux sont le centre d’attention. Par expérience autant personnelle, que des commentaires eu par mes athlètes et mes propres observations, aucun jeu enfant aime être celui ou ce sont ces parents qui sont les plus bruyants et négatifs. Ça leur affectent. Alors quoi faire? Un erreur qui arrive souvent, encourager juste les bons actions ou performances. C’est une grave erreur. Tel que mentionné plus haut, les jeunes cherchent à impressionner leurs parents. C’est tout à fait naturel. Un enfant souhaite que ses parents soient fiers de lui, dans le sport comme ailleurs. On connait les signes, les parents vont chercher un contact visuel avec leur jeune, applaudissent à tout rompre LEUR enfant, gesticulent comme s’il n’y avait pas de lendemain, crier des mots d’encouragements. Souvent ces gestes sont autant pour que l’enfant reçoit l’encouragement, mais aussi pour que les autres parents sachent que se dont eux les parents de l’enfant qui rien de faire de quoi bien. L’enfant interprète cela comme un signe d’approbation. Il comprend qu’il a intérêt à reproduire ce qu’il vient de faire plus souvent. Il n’y a rien de mal là-dedans vous me direz? Vous avez raison. Le problème c’est lorsque ça se déroule moins bien pour votre enfant. C’est lorsqu’il commet une erreur ou ne livre pas une belle performance que ça se complique. Beaucoup de parents ne le réalisent pas et agissent ainsi, fuient le regard de leur jeune, demeurent plutôt passifs (tout le contraire de la situation où le jeune fait un beau jeu), ont un langage corporel plus défaitiste ou demeurent plutôt discrets ou silencieux et bien sûr on peut lire la déception dans leur visage. Ça fait très mal à votre enfant sur le plan de la confiance. Il sent qu’il n’est pas à la hauteur, qu’il est en train de faire quelque chose d’incorrect ou pire encore, qu’il vous fait honte. Oui, vous souhaitez faire preuve d’empathie pour lui mais l’enfant interprète vos agissements comme une forme de rejet. Bien sûr, il y a le fameux analyse d’après-match dans l’auto, Tout jeune sportif la vécue. Pour certains parents, ça semble être plus fort qu’eux. Ils ne peuvent pas s’empêcher de revenir sur la performance de leur enfant et l’analyser. Le problème, c’est qu’ils s’empressent de le faire en voiture durant le trajet de retour vers la maison. Bien entendu, si la performance a été positive, ce sera plus facile pour votre enfant de vous en parler immédiatement. S’il s’avère plutôt que c’était une performance moins réjouissante ou une défaite, SVP, laissez du temps à votre jeune pour décompresser. Je vous l’assure, la dernière chose dont votre jeune a envie c’est de revenir sur sa performance dès qu’il s’assoit dans la voiture. Il a besoin de digérer tout ça. Ne le prenez pas personnel si votre enfant ne souhaite pas discuter de la partie avec vous! Il est même possible que cette discussion ait déjà eu lieu avec l’entraîneur et les coéquipiers, donc ce n’est pas nécessaire d’en rajouter. D’ailleurs, apprendre à passer par-dessus des événements difficiles comme une défaite crève-cœur ou une contre-performance fait partie du développement normal de l’enfant. Développer cette capacité de résilience, c’est-à-dire de se relever lui-même suite à un échec, l’amènera à gagner beaucoup de confiance en lui. Quoi faire alors ? À votre retour dans la voiture, dites-lui simplement quelques mots d’encouragement et offrez-lui votre soutien. Allez-y avec quelque chose du genre : «Je sais que ça ne doit pas être facile pour toi présentement. Tu es fort et je sais que tu vas te relever de cette situation. Je demeure fier de toi peu importe ce qui se passe sur le terrain. Si tu as besoin d’en parler, je suis là pour toi». Surtout, retenez-vous de jouer à l’entraîneur. Ce n’est pas le moment. Il a besoin de votre support inconditionnel, c’est tout. Si vous avez des conseils à lui prodiguer, au mieux attendez au lendemain. Ils seront beaucoup plus receptifs. Comme toujours, je ne crois pas detenir aucune vérité, ni me pense expert, mais avec le nombres d’heures passaient sur les terrains, les échanges que j’ai pu avoir avec athlètes, entraîneurs et oui même parents, je pense qu’avec les années, j’ai acquis une certaine connaissance que je me sens à l’aise partager.. par la suite, à vous d’en prendre et laisser. I've posted a number of times on the topic of student-athletes, whether related to the challenges they face, the benefits that will pay off for them later in like, or breaking some of the myths and stereotypes about student-athletes. It's a topic I can share about easily based on my involvement as a varsity coach but today I thought I would try an different tack and write a little tongue in cheek post about some non athletic /academic realities that on the surface will seem both funny and amusing but that will hit even close to home for athletes and student-athletes.
The one common theme that I have always addressed in prior posts about being a student-athlete is that beyond the apparent perks, it is demanding and hard work to balance all the requirements that come with being a student-athlete. These unique individuals have to balance school and practice schedules, all the while starting a career, having a social life and somehow still have time to eat and sleep. Something has to suffer right? During the season, it's often the social life; in the off-season, the dynamic changes as more time is spent on fitness and preparation but the demands while there are different. And as stressful as it seems, the balancing act builds character. Many of the student-athletes I have dealt with have had thoughts of walking away and just focusing on school at some point or other. Every student-athlete feels a sense of being overwhelmed and not being able to get through it but when their university career comes to an end, they look back at wonder how did it go by so fast and miss it. Regardless of the sport, the university, the team dynamic, I am sure that there are a few scenarios that every student-athlete can relate to and remember with some level of amusement. 1. The Smell I can remember my parents talking about this one a lot and are probably the individuals who know this the best, but athletic gear holds smells forever. Your shin guards, goalie gloves, knee pads and basketball shoes and pretty much any item of sports gear will always smell some sort of dead animal left to rot. This is particularly true during training camp , with multiple daily sessions, fatigue preventing anyone who actually doing decent laundry, There's no way around it. And try as they might, no amount of Tide Plus will remove the years of sweat soaked into its fabric. 2. Ridiculous Team Group Messages Technology has really changed team dynamics. It's beyond a coach sending out update emails with updates on the schedule, games, lines etc. Athletes can now set up team pages or group chats via various platforms that sometimes don't even include the coaches. The intentions for group pages are generally to have a way for teammates to communicate instantly. Of course the group message is primarily used for practice times, team meetings and whatnot, but occasionally, someone will throw everyone for a loop with a screenshot of an ugly Snapchat or a random video. Then the team will all have an inside joke. 3. Fitness Testing Time This means different things for basically every sport. There are a collection if different tests that coaches will use to verify the fitness levels of the athletes. If teams are like ours, the first day of training camp involves a bunch of tests right at the start. We as coaches, spend the entire summer reminding athletes about the important of fitness preparation and how we will be testing and that failure to perform may have consequences on being selected or playing time. Rarely have I had athletes telling me how much they are looking for to fitness testing. For most student-athletes the shared opinion is that it sucks. And the second ar coach says the words fitness testing fight or flight kicks in, and I'm sure some athletes wonder to themselves what would happen if they just ran away and never came back. In fact it actually has happened a few times. 4. Dry Season These are two words that most student-athletes hate. Not every team has them but...... Drinking in university is normal. I won't say whether it should or shouldn't be, but it is. And the vast majority of the every school's student body spends some nights enjoying alcohol, partying and staying out late. What is a student-athlete doing? Sleeping. Obviously teams do go out when it's appropriate, like during the off season, but during the season, a lot of teams are not even allowed to look at alcohol, better yet be in its presence. Like anything else, it isn't about not drinking an occasional adult beverage but about make the good decisions that will allow a student-athlete to excel in their sport. 5. Team Wear Athletes get a certain amount of team wear in school colors. Some items are more popular than others. Most teams with have some type of travel wear that they use when heading out to games, warm up and practice gear, cold weather jacket, rain jacket etc. Wearing team wear is a symbol of belonging to a group, of being teammates, but let's be honest for a lot of athletes, nothing beats a comfortable pair of sweats and a hoodie. 6. The forgotten items Every team has experienced that moment just as practice is about to start and the coach looks around and asked no one in general " Who was supposed to bring out the ball ( or the cones and pinnies". Every athlete looks around, waiting for someone to reply. There are generally a couple of athletes on every team who will instantly volunteer to run back to the team room to get the forgotten items.... but sometimes a coach will saying " no one brought the balls today, well I guess we will be running". With our team, the captains generally plan out a detailed schedule of who brings what to each session, but each season, something is forgotten a few times. Every team has at least one person who packs for a game without really paying attention They just grab whatever feels right, and never open the bag again until they arrive in the locker game pre-game. Then they choose the worst time to whisper to their captain or a teammate " I think I forgot my ( insert item here). Or often, since we have 3 sets of game uniforms, someone will have brought the wrong color socks. So now the captain has to scramble to find a solution hopefully without having to tell the coaches or causing the forgetful teammate to not be able to play. 7. The team punishments Nothing brings a team closer like getting in trouble together. Sometimes, as an athlete, an individual forgets that they're a small part of a much bigger organization. Every thing they say or do is a representation of the school, athletic department, teammates and coach. So when one falls overboard, hopefully all feel the obligation to jump in and save them. That's what being on a team is about. No one should ever be able to watch one of their teammates suffer, and stand by idly. It's often moments like this that bring a teammate together. These are just a few examples, but I am sure ask 20 student-athletes for some fond and amusing scenarios and you can get always as many different replies. I have often told my student-athletes, that years after they have stopped being student-athletes, they will rarely remember specific games or scores but will always remember some of the special moments and amusing stories that they shared with their teammates. Friendships developed as student-athletes are often the most enduring. ask around, I think you'd get confirmation about this. A couple of weeks ago, I wrote about how a head coach can best interact and manage assistant coaches he or she works with called " A coach among coaches", you can read the article via this link
a-coach-among-coaches.html Today's topic looks at the dynamic between head coach and assistant coaches from the point of view of the assistant. How can someone, who accepts an assistant coaching role, best add value to the group while supporting the head coach. Being an efficient and successful assistant coach requires a delicate balance between ambition and respect for the role. As a coach, you want to work with the athletes, share your knowledge and help them grow but need to stay within the aside role and certainly not overstep your role or contradict the head coach. At best, this will lead to confusion from the athletes, at worst, it will create division as players who the differing opinions. For some sports, the roles and limits of an assistant coach are much easier to determine. If you look at football for example, the roles of the different members of a coaching staff seem to be clearer defined, you have position coaches, offensive, defensive and special team coordinators, and coaches who manage very specific tasks ( scouting, film review, statistics). Baseball is somewhat similar with coaches who specialize in areas like pitching, fielding, hitting, base running etc. However, this is not always the same with teams sports like hockey, soccer and a few others. So it's up to the head coach to determine the roles and the assistants to be use their skill set within the role. Truth be told, I have had limited experience as an assistant coach throughout my coaching career. Prior to starting at Concordia, I spent 5 years as an assistant coach with the National Training Center which really didn't involve coaching a team but rather working on player development for national team hopefuls. It was a great opportunity which allowed me to work with some great athletes and get exposed to a new level of soccer not to mention got my in direct contact with coaches on the national team staffs. It also allowed me to work with someone that to this day I consider a coaching mentor and who helped me develop a certain part of my coaching profile. Twice during my tenure at Concordia, I served as an assistant coach with "Team Canada" at the World University games ( 2009, 2011). Take on an assistant coaching role in these instances served a different role. I allowed me to coach at a level that perhaps I might not have had been able to in a head coach capacity ( for various reasons, none relevant to this post). With hindsight, I probably should have had the confidence to apply as head coach for the 2011 games but at the time, it didn't seem feasible, but again, not relevant to this post. I will say however that in both cases, working in a different capacity, helped me grow as a head coach once I returned with my team. In both cases, I was the assistant coach that players come to see to vent to, complain about decisions, to seek clarification on coaching comments or decisions, etc. In some of the cases, what the players had interpreted from the coach and want I had understand was very different. It reminded me about the importance of communication. As a head coach, we might think our instructions or decisions have been communicated very clearly or players might not ask questions but that doesn't mean that they understood. So as a head coach, when players asked me for feedback or clarification, it was important that the message I gave them was consistent with what the coach was expecting, it was also important to listen to the athletes, but not give them validation which might seem to contradict the head coach. When I speak to young coaches, I was always say that an assistant coach is no less of a coach than the head coach. The main difference is that they are not the final decision maker. So how can an assistant coach be efficient, effective and have an impact on a team while not contradicting the head coach ? I've listed a few below. If you follow these guidelines, you will take some great steps to be a positive, effective and valuable person to both the program and your head coach. 1. Find some way to bring value to the program Take charge of something that needs to be done without the head coach having to delegate it. What needs to be done that you can do? Surely there is something. What are you passionate about and good at doing within the program? I'm a "stats guy." I like numbers and stats. We had a coach who managed the stat girls who is no longer with the program. So, without even asking the head coach his permission, I simply took over this aspect of our program. It's a way that I bring value to the program, and solve a problem: managing the stat girls, ensuring their accuracy, submitting the stats to Max Preps, and keeping our database. 2. Do the little things that need to be done There are so many things that need to happen in every football program. Just one practice holds a list of tasks: hydration, setting up the field, cleaning up the field, supervising the locker room, locking up, putting together the practice schedule, creating the wristbands, communicating with teachers about grades, etc. etc. etc. Who is "in charge" of all of this? The head coach. How does it all happen? The assistants. Take some of these off the plate of the head coach, take ownership of them. Be the guy who gets his hands dirty, no job is too small. 3. Become an expert Another way to put this is: Be a pro! Never stop learning. If you coach defensive backs, become the best defensive backs coach in your league, conference and state. Your head coach wants experts on his staff. You might not be one now, but you can become an expert at coaching your position. The more experts who are on the staff, the better the program will be. 4. Know your role Remember, you are an assistant coach. You are not the head coach. Be careful not to overstep your bounds. Your role is to be a loyal assistant to your boss. You might totally disagree with a part of the program, the direction of the program, how your boss conducts practice. None of that matters! It is not your program. Know your role, accept your role and become great at your role. 5. Don't just be a "yes person" Head coaches don't want all of their coaches to sit around the table saying "yes, yes, yes." They want what is best for the program. They want to improve the program. And they don't always have the answers. This is where assistants come in. When the head coach asks for input, or when the door opens for you to give your input, do it. If you disagree with something, or have an idea to make something better, express that. Just remember, if your boss doesn't like it, he's the boss! 6. Be dependable The last thing that a head coach needs is to babysit his own assistants. If you say that you're going to do something for the program, do it, period. Make it happen. There were not many things more frustrating to me as a head coach as when an assistant tried to take something off my plate, and then either failed to do it, or did a bad job at it. Be on time, be prepared, and leave no doubt in the head coach's head that you will be who you say you will be. 7. Be hungry Take the bull by the horns. Take ownership for the position you're coaching, the side of the ball you're coaching, a special team, fundraising, program management or equipment. Be proactive to make the program better by having an appetite for success! Demonstrate to your boss that you want what is best for the program by taking initiative on a year round basis. Being an assistant coach can be a stepping stone towards a head coaching role in the future, or simply a way to stay involved in coaching without all the pressure of being the final decision maker. Regardless which, a good assistant coach brings value to any team and make the head coach better. As always, just my opinion. There is a saying that most people have heard, " Keep you friends close and your enemies closer". While I don't want to paint parents of kids that anyone might coach as being enemies, truth is that parents can sometimes get in the way of a coach - athlete relationship.
Interestingly, this is how the parent-coach dynamic is always described. Attend a clinic on the parent-coach relationship, take a coaching class, or have a conversation with coaches from any sport, and the phrase is always the same. It’s assumed that if you want to get into coaching, you’re going to have to deal with the parents, plain and simple. Talk with coaches who have been involved in youth sport for years and many will have different strategies about how to insulate themselves from parent complaints. Truth be told, in terms of my own personal experiences, I have had limited experience in dealing directly with parents as my only real involvement in coaching athletes younger than 18 was with the provincial teams and while parent complaints and comments did occur on occasion, the context was very different as for the most part, the cost to be part of the team was minimal and the expectations of equal playing time ( usually the biggest topic of parents complaints) were not the same. Different coaches use various approaches to communicate policies and expectations verbally and in writing for players and parents prior to the season. Whether done via player or parent manuals, verbally during preseason parent meetings, the information will usually touch on coaching philosophy, coaching backgrounds, game day expectations, eligibility policy, “Who Starts and Who Plays,” travel expectations, practice attendance rules, some sort of budget to explain why the costs to join the team are what they are and other relevant information. While some of the information is directly related to ensuring every member of the team is on the same page, reality is that often times, the purpose of sharing this information to communicate as much information up front as possible so that we will not have to deal with the parents once the season begins. Talking to younger coaches or those starting out and often times, the one issue that they will often bring up as being among the issue they most dislike about coaching going into every season is dealing with parents. Generally speaking, we never have to “deal with” things we like. In fact, the very notion of dealing with something invokes feelings of negativity, suspicion, and even dread. We usually deal with things that are unpleasant. We deal with problems. We deal with difficult people. With all those negative connotations, it’s safe to say, nobody ever looks forward to having to deal with anything. That likely describes how most coaches approach the parent-coach relationship. Rooted in fear of conflict and confrontation, we negotiate parent interactions like tiptoeing through a mine field hoping to spend as little time as possible desperately trying to avoid an explosion. At the end of the day, we signed up to coach a sport, not to deal with parents. However, if coaches go into each season thinking like this, how much might this attitude to the parent-coach dynamic prevented them from forming positive, constructive relationships with the people who influence our players as much as anyone. Coaches should never walk into a practice thinking, “Today I have to deal with these players again.” and if they do, then maybe they should have something else to be involved with, but I digress. Rather, we strive to provide our players with the best possible experiences and opportunities every practice, team activity and game. What if we approached the parents the same way? What if as a coach, we try and engage parents in our process, get them to by into the whole team concept and culture. Now when I say we, I mean that in the generic sense of coaches involved with youth club teams. I don't think it is part of coaching adults ( or I would certainly hope not, select teams, university etc). I would remain essential to address important issues such as “Who Starts and Who Plays,” team attendance rules, expectations etc but what if time was spent doing something far more value added that could improve the chances of having a positive environment around the team? Coaches will often talk about team identity or team culture. When coaches get to work with the same athletes over a few years, they will become increasingly deliberate in teaching players specific behaviors that tie into these cultures or identities. So what might happen if coaches decided to do the same for the parents by giving them specific things they can do to participate in the process. Never in my career have I asked or really had to ask parent what they thought about our team's plans, culture , identity , or what they want their daughter’s experience to be like. In those times that I had to hold parent meetings, I would present the plan, the process and our expectations as coaches, but I didn't really openly engage parent participation, because like many coaches, I just wanted to avoid the minefield. The more I thought about the sports parent experience, the more I realized, I have no idea what the parents want their experience to be like or what they might perceive that their daughters want out of the experience. But like every coach, I have experienced the situation where a parent seems to " want it more" than his or her daughter. Probably the most important pieces of feedback you as a coach could get from a parent are "What do you feel are a few measurable reasonable goals for your child this season? for the team ? The purpose of these questions would determine the parents’ expectations for the team, and for their child. If you were to get feedback that is clearly outrageous, you could address those in a non-threatening way sooner rather than later. The vast majority of the conflict coaches experience with players and parents is the result of unrealistic expectations. This might help identify those so that they can be dealt with before the season even started. A small note about goal setting, it’s important that goals are measurable, performance-related. It is not possible to measure hard work, happiness, or getting along with others. You would have to ask for specific outcomes such as being a starter, winning record qualifying for the playoffs, winning tournaments, , whatever might be relevant competitive aspects of the team / sport that you coach. Once you deal with those goals, you could then focus on the most important question that nobody ever asks: What do you want if you can’t have what you want? Or, perhaps asked in a better way, "what do you want your child's experience to be like if he / she can't achieve the competitive individual or team goals?" Essentially, you will be asking them to consider what will make the experience valuable and positive even if they do not accomplish their goals. What will make participating in the sport meaningful regardless of outcome? You could do this exercise with both the athletes and the parents but not together, then compare and share the responses. As with the questions about goals, you could identify divergences in expectations early on and manage expectations. Most importantly, you are upfront with parents and just might get them to buy into what you are hoping to accomplish with the team, especially in ways that go beyond wins and losses. Finally, you might just need to ask the other questions that most coaches would never want to ask parents? What do you want the experience to be for you are a parent? What do you feel you can do to participate in creating that experience for other parents? What can coaches do to facilitate parents in having a positive experience? You might be surprised by the nature of replies you get. Of course, you will get some crazy suggestions, things like, "parents want a copy of the practice plan in advance so that we can follow along and know what they players are working on". Yeah, like that is going to happen.... However, by soliciting input, you can deal with any disconnects upfront, even if it means taking a stance on things you really adhere to. However rather than just saying no, if you explain the why of your no, there is transparency and the attempt to manage expectations. Will this eliminate parents problems, probably not completely, but if you can reduce the potential conflicts upfront and establish a "working relationship" with the parents, at least they can't hide behind not knowing or not understanding if you are upfront with them. Just some thoughts... if you're coaching, give it a try and feel free to let me know how it worked out. Like many things in today's social reality, the boom of all the social media platforms, streaming sites, electronic publications, blogs and all forms of electronic media, women's soccer has gained a wider exposure to both the aficionados and uninformed. As a simple example, yesterday, one of my athletes was earning her first international cap with the Algerian national team vs Senegal in a qualifier for the African Cup of Nations and I was able to find a few sites that had game updates and after the game, was able to read some reports about the game. Not so long ago, a game of this nature would have been a well kept secret.
For the most part, women's soccer reaches its peak of exposure during two events, the World Cup and the Olympics. To a lesser extent, the U20 World Cup might garner some interest especially that it will proceed in the host country of the World Cup a year in advance. That means that starting this summer, there will be a 3 year cycle of top international competitions in 3 consecutive summers. However, women's soccer isn't about these 3 competitions. Like on the men's side, there are confederations tournaments, Euro's , Gold Cup, African Cup of Nations, Asia Cup, a women's Euro Champions League and domestic leagues providing some great women's soccer , Ligue1, NWSL, English Women's Super League, Women Serie A, Bundesliga to name but a few. However, unlike the men's game and surely far below any exposure received by the two major competitions, these quality levels of play go fairly unnoticed. Many would argue that there isn't a market for it, no money to be made broadcasting or promoting women's soccer. Or even more so that women's soccer is an major competition driven sport and there is little viability to a true professionalism of the women's soccer. Is this myth or reality ? The case against professional women’s soccer as anything more than a once-every-four-years (based on the World Cup) or twice in a four year cycle if we consider the Olympics, curiosity is easy to make. There’s enough of a history to make that point, and enough people predisposed to disliking or ignoring women’s sports to make it popular. The simplest thing to write about women’s soccer is that it had its moment ( or has its moments at each World Cup) and is now going back into the ground, not unlike a gopher. It’s just that, well, that view is short-sighted, ignores strong trends and is largely built on the world today being the world tomorrow. Women’s sports are changing. They’ve long been growing, but this is easy to dismiss when the wrong standards or unrealistic demands are applied. No, women’s sports are not as popular as men’s sports. Yes, the women who compete at a World Cup or Olympics will often from global exposure to domestic leagues in which the average salary is comparable to wage earned at most part time jobs. A recent report issued on the state of women's soccer actually tried to highlight the fact that women's player had great flexibility in being able to play professional while holding down a second job as a positive. This is not a choice, but a reality that women have to live with in order to earn a decent living wage. But the world in which these players are living is already very different from the one of the generation before. The changes are coming fast, in other words, and it doesn’t take a lot of imagination to see women’s soccer making for a viable, growing and profitable professional sport. You just need an open mind, reasonable standards and the information. It’s about the more reasoned, level-headed planning and inevitable shifts behind it. The positive signs are subtle but solid, going far beyond the World Cup bump helping earn players a more mainstream recognition, or domestic leagues seeing improved attendance. There is this myth around women’s sports that people don’t watch, which more people are starting to see is not true. Do the research, women's game at the various domestic league games, at women's champions league fixtures etc are setting records. Granted, the naysayers will always compare these to the attendance at men's games as a clear indication that the women's game isn't viable... but this isn't realistic. The men's game benefits from promotion, exposure, and investment that is in no way equitable in any pro-rated manner. Rather, simply compare the interest generated for the women's game to similar games 2, 5 or 10 years ago. When one does this, we clearly see that interest is growing. The reasons are a combination of scale, publicity, self-awareness and timing. Part of what has doomed previous attempts at women’s soccer is an ambition unrestrained by reason. Today's reality as the internet and social media provide a wide ranging reach allow for more people to discover that women's soccer actually exists beyond one or two major competitions. That these players are not amateurs playing for pride of representing their country, but full time professionals ( albeit without decent salary for the most part) , training and playing week in, week out. There is a growing feeling within the sports and television industries that the traditionally lower performance of women’s broadcasts has more to do with lighter production quality, worse promotion and sparser coverage than the product on the field or court. However, let's be realistic, if we assume that 50% of any population is female, can you honestly say that a significant percent of simply women or girls wouldn't prefer to watch women's soccer ? And if women enjoy watching men's sports, why can't the opposite also be true? The progress is there. You just have to know where to look, and come with realistic expectations. This is part of the critical mass that is building in support of women’s sports. The progress is often missed by straight-up comparisons to men’s sports, but considering cultural factors and timing, this is like comparing a tech start-up company to Facebook if we use a business analogy. The start-up will probably never be Facebook, which is neither the point or the goal. They are two different products. If you know where and how to look, you can see massive improvements to the opportunities available for girls and women, but certainly not enough for an even comparison to men, particularly on the professional level. Even so, women’s soccer is showing obvious signs. The progress of parity in the women's at the international level is proof that grassroots support works. Not so long ago, women's soccer was dominated exclusively by the USA, Germany, Sweden , France on the fringes and sometimes additional countries like England. Brazil, China, Japan, that was often based on a golden generation of players and not on true player development. However, now, we are seeing the emergence of other countries, Holland, Canada, Australia, Korea among the top 10 in FIFA rankings but also traditional soccer powers on the men's side, like Spain, Denmark, Italy, Switzerland, and even Iceland, moving among the top 20. Much of the appeal for women’s soccer at this moment is wrapped in nationalism. The female players are much easier to find on TV, and much easier to get behind, when they’re representing their countries vs their clubs. But there is an enormous gap between the attention the game gets during major competitions and the point at which women’s soccer can make for a viable sports product and be part of an inevitable change to what the sports landscape will look like in the future. Having coached in the women's game for close to 30 years, I often think about a group of women being the biggest thing in world sports during the month of a World Cup or Olympics, and largely forgotten the soon after. I see this as an undeniable disappointment, and the gap between men’s sports far too wide to close. But that’s a false premise. Just thing back to the March Madness that just ended. College basketball or football players for that matter do not need to be as good as NBA of NFL players to make an interesting product, and women’s sports do not need to match men’s sports to be a success. Having realistic expectations is probably the key component to ensuring the continues growth of women's soccer. One of the most well-known case studies in marketing classes is of light beer. For years, light beer was dismissed. Seen as a woman’s beer. That changed when beer companies hired football players to promote it as less filling. No longer was the focus on what light beer lacked, but on what it provided. The expectations changed. That’s the kind of thing that women’s soccer needs. Soccer remains the world's game and here in North America, it is more popular than ever before. Advertisers can use stars already familiar to the public to sell the product. Expectations seem to have shifted, incremental investment in domestic leagues will help professionalize the game while the infrastructure of awareness and publicity is built. All of the trends are here. They’ve been here. Now, the culture and business factors are finally here, too. You don’t have to be interested in women’s soccer to see that it is growing. You just have to acknowledge the signs, and understand that the world is changing. Perhaps, it would also help if the naysayers would stop looking for reasons as to why the game can't grow and be part of the reasons it will. A tweet I saw yesterday by someone asking about reading material on how a coach can most effectively manage assistant coaches made me realize that this was a great topic that I had never posted about. It's something I speak to regularly when I give presentation on coaching.
Truth be told, in my 28 years of coaching, I have not often been in the position of assistant coach and knowing my make up and personality, not sure it is something I particularly enjoy. In one case, i spent a summer helping out with a club when I was at a crossroads in my coaching. I had just finished working with the provincial teams and was not sure what was next. I give credit to the coach who sought me out asking for assistance because I was more experienced and had coached a number of the players on the provincial teams so it was tough to take a secondary role and follow the head coaches lead. Some of the players ( and some of the parents) would approach me suggesting I correct the head coach, or trying to have my second guess decision he had made but it was important to remain in my assistant role and defer to the head coach. The other instances of being an assistant coach were my 1st time with the provincial teams ( which i saw as a stepping stone to becoming a head coach in the program), 5 years at the National Training Center and 2 opportunities with team Canada at the World University Games. In the first case, I was a young coach and used the chance to learn from the technical director of the center who to this day, I consider a mentor and someone who helped me significantly become the coach I am today. In the second case, it was a matter of being able to coach at a higher level, to represent my country. I think however as relates to the second games I participated in, it was an issue of not having the self confidence that I could be be the head coach at that level and deferring when perhaps I shouldn't have..... but that's a story for another day. So how does a head coach manage assistant coaches. Like on any team, each member has a role and this is no different than with assistant coaches? As the head coach, you are in charge of your program, and it’s your job to manage your assistant coaches. If your team were a business, you would be the CEO, responsible for overseeing and mentoring your employees. When a CEO fails to provide instruction, feedback, and encouragement, his or her employees can’t do their jobs well. And when a head coach doesn’t provide that same kind of leadership, his or her assistant coaches can’t thrive, either. Your role as head coach starts before the season begins. Before the first practice happens, develop clear expectations for your assistants and make sure they know what those expectations are. It’s helpful if you put your expectations into writing in the form of a job description. It is also beneficial to provide your assistants with a written description of your coaching philosophy and your plan for the season. Meet prior to the start of the season to give them these documents and talk them over. However it is important that you leave room for discussion and some flexibility. You want your assistant coaches to participate in the process and " buy in" and this is tougher when they feel that everything is imposed on them. In the same you build a team with players that have varied skill sets which make the overall group stronger, you should build you coaching staff in the same manner. Seek out assistant coaches that compliment your own coaching style and strengths. I have heard coaches say " I want assistants that think like me, that agree with me and coach like me". This is actually wrong in my opinion. I always tell my assistants that I want them to challenge my, to question my decisions ( in the right time and place), force me to reflect on what decisions might work best for the team, etc. To have assistant coaches who will always agree with me and tell me my decisions are great, just tells me that I don't need assistants. I have no issue with coaches who challenge my thinking as long as once we are in front of the team, the message conveyed to the athletes is consistent with the goals set. It is important to also have assistant coaches who can convey the same message as the head coach although not specifically with the same voice. Not every athlete with identify and connect with the same coaches in the same way and having coaches with different profiles with ensure that every athlete feels comfortable approaching at least one of the coaches. In my case, as a male of a certain age, coaching females, one obvious complimentary profile of an assistant coach is to find younger ( closer in age and with a facility to relate to the athletes) and female. In addition, preferably assistants who have been student-athletes and with with the program in which I coach, even better. So once the plans are in place, the message conveyed to the staff, tasks assigned etc, what happens next? Once the season has begun and things get busy—between practice sessions, scouting, and games—you may struggle to find the time to continue to mentor those under you. The following are some suggestions on how to fit in the important job of managing your assistants. After each practice or game, meet for 10 minutes to review responsibilities and quickly outline what is on deck for tomorrow. If there was an oversight or mistake made during a practice or game, correct it immediately so it won’t be repeated. In these brief meetings, it is vital that you communicate in a quick, concise manner while still covering what needs to be corrected. Another idea is to sit as a group before practice sessions and discuss what the objectives of the session are. If as a coach you have delegated certain parts of the practice to the assistants, review the drill to ensure it fits into the overall objective of the training session but also so that all coaches are on the same page so that any corrections or feedback given during practice are consistent. The same can be done before games. Explain what the assistants will be responsible for during a game. One might be in charge of charting the offense or defense and another may keep track of time outs, substitutions, individual and team fouls, or other items pertaining to your sport. Whatever your assistants’ assignments are, take the time to explain them well in advance so they can be totally prepared. Schedule a staff meeting once a week for 20 to 30 minutes. During this session, focus on the upcoming schedule and the responsibilities for the next week. Even though you probably created a season-long schedule, you want to remind everyone and cover any changes or concerns. It is much better to be proactive than to have someone miss an assignment and create a potential problem. Sit down with individual assistant coaches in private for one-on-one meetings to provide help with issues or to give pep talks as needed. Reassure, teach, correct, and guide in a non-threatening and supportive manner. This is most important if you are not just the head coach managing assistants but also a mentor to younger coaches. Meet with your assistants prior to sending them out on their first scouting assignment. Clearly explain how to approach the task of scouting. Provide hints about what to watch for so that the information they gather will be helpful when you prepare for practice sessions and make a game plan. Don’t forget to thank and give assistants feedback. Sometimes it is simply about letting them now when a job is well done, either in practice, with scouting, or during a game. Being appreciated is important to everyone and creates good working relationships, loyalty, and dependability.Managing your assistant coaches takes thought, planning, and effort—especially once the season is in full swing— but it pays big dividends. The better job you do, the smoother things will go and the more your assistants will grow and develop. If the athletes see disharmony or disconnect between the members of a coaching staff, it will create issues among the team. Seems pretty simply huh ? Trust me it isn't. Coaches are often ambition, assistant coaches look forward to being head coaches and something might overstep their roles trying to do too much, or trying to pass "their message" to athletes. On some teams, athletes will use the chance to play coaches off against each other and if the feedback they receive is not consistent it will worsen the environment. I have been lucky with my assistant coaches over the years but I have had some who second guessed decisions in moments that weren't ideal ( or with / in front of athletes) and affected the team. So what do you do with an assistant coach oversteps ? This is one of those tricky situations that nobody wants to deal with. However, it can be easier than you think. And for the best interests of your players, it's critical to get the situation under control. When you have an assistant that oversteps their bounds, it almost always comes down to a management issue that can be easily solved. As a head coach, you need to set clear expectations and roles for your assistant. Then communicate those roles. Managing assistant coaches is just like managing employees in a business. The same management tactics work. In a business, you document procedures for an employee. You document and define expectations and roles for that employee. You implement key metrics to measure the performance of that employee. You have regularly scheduled meetings with that employee to review goals, expectations, metrics, performance, and progress. You hold that employee accountable and communicate with them. Sit down with him/her. Review expectations. Talk about your stance on things so you both get aligned. Often times, an assistant coach might overstep not because it is malicious or they are trying to undermine you but simply because of a misunderstanding or unclear communication. Give your assistant specific responsibilities. If they over-step their boundaries, perhaps it's because they don't know their responsibilities. If your assistant is really good at defense, put them in charge of defense or maybe they can do stats, film, and so on. It's important to consider your assistant's strengths. Then it's your job to put the assistant coach in the position to use those strengths to benefit the team. Unfortunately sometimes the ambitions of an assistant coach will get the best of them and they will overstep as a way to prove their knowledge or coaching ability. They want to prove to the athletes that they are great coaches. However when it affects that team and when assistants can't or unwilling to work in conjunction with your vision, support your decisions, sometimes there is no choice but to make a change. It sucks and isn't easy but a team can't function with a coaching staff that is all over the place. Bottom line, set expectations and roles with your assistants. Meet with them on a fairly regular basis. Give it a shot and you'll end up with a much smoother and productive basketball program. And happier coaches too! |
AuthorAfter many years of coaching at various levels and with different teams, I thought I would share some of my experiences and thoughts about coaching. Archives
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