This won't be the first time I have written on this topic but I wanted to expand a little bit on the what happens when those of us who consider ourselves just regular people cross paths with celebrities or individual in the public eye.
You can reference my original piece via this link the-good-the-bad-and-the-ugly-of-meeting-your-idols.html As humans, many of us have the instinct to be curious beings. We develop from a very young age the reaction to question the world around us . We might be taught to question people and how they interact, behave and influence one another. We are often told that there is more to people than what they appear. Most importantly, we were we often hear the expression "don't judge a book by its cover" or something similar. Through the course of my life, with school, work, my involvement in coaching sport and through general social interactions, I have crossed path with a wide range of people, like everyone else of course, and throughout, some make an impact on me, some didn't, some impressed me, some disappointed me, some left me indifferent, some surprised me.. and so on and so on. At the same time, through the course of my life, I have had the opportunity to meet or at a minimum, cross paths with celebrities or public figures (athletes, actors/actresses, politicians, writers etc). This has occurred through a wide range of occasions, whether random meetings on the street, at venues or occasions where the individuals were appearing / performing or other occasions. As a young kid or teenager, like many males, my so called idols where professional athletes. My first memory of meeting a celebrity was having Gary Carter sign my hat and t-shirt during a fair organized by my church. I was probably in my early teens and my recollection, he was larger than life... but of course my dad thought I had ruined a perfectly good t-shirt. Guy Lafleur towards the end of his great career, lived in Baie d'Urfé where I grew up and his son attended the elementary school right across the street from our house, so I often got to say a quick hi or might run into him around town. It was amazing. More recently, I got to work alongside a former pro soccer player, local hero, former Canadian international etc but for me, he was just Greg ( I will let you do the research to figure out who it is). In the summer of 2019, during our annual Dawson College golf tournament, I got to play my round alongside a former Montreal Canadian and NHL player of some note. And while I wouldn't consider him an idol, hearing him share stories from his career, I was instantly brought back to my childhood, reliving my fascination with imagining the life of a sports star, not to mention enjoying getting the inside scoop on players and situations I had witnessed from the outside. As I have gotten older and now being a middle aged man, I have moved away from the notion of having idols or being a fan, towards the idea of admiring a public figure for what they advocated for or believe in, for the quality of their work, or the ideals they present. I have always had a personal rule that if I were to cross paths with a public figure I might enjoy introducing myself to in an appropriate venue ( like following a game for athletes, or a show for an artist) then it was ok to walk up and say hi. I have always shied away from approaching someone in a public setting, perhaps out enjoying free time with friends or family, under the belief that everyone is entitled to their privacy. Truth be told, there have been times when a great chance to meet someone I admire in person has been presented itself and I have for the lack of a better word, chickened out. Yes, me, a man in his 50s, accomplished, educated , experience manager of work teams, coach of elite athletes ( some of them celebrities in their own right because of their success), has experienced a few moments of shyness related to being a fan.... So what is the point of all writing all that? Well, basically, like with life in general, when we cross paths with a celebrity of public personality, what we discover in reality can differ from perception. We can often find ourselves surprised by how different someone is from their public image, both in a positive as well as a negative way. For many years the chance to interact with well known celebrities were limited and what we really knew about public figures was somewhat controlled. The age of the Internet and social media changed all of that. Suddenly, everything we have learned about life and people wasn’t enough. The saturation of the information available made everything a click of a button away. You didn’t have to leave the comfort of your own home to learn more about new places, cultures, trends and most importantly people. Social media became a platform for people to voluntarily show off their lives and create voices for themselves. It gave a voice to the voiceless. It gave them the opportunity to produce visual and written content and easily publish to millions of people. Celebrities were now able to communicate one on one with their fans and share information about themselves that they would like people to know about, but that wasn’t enough to most. It is important to always remember that celebrities or public figures are made not born. They are at the outset, a human being just like the rest of us, with their own realities. What has put them upfront in the spotlight is their chosen profession. Even then, the level to which these individuals embrace their fame or image can vary a lot. Some can be amazing actors or athletes, but remain very guarded about anything else in their lives. The growth in all the various social media platforms combined with more and more public figures using these avenues to interact directly with the general population has certainly opened the door for a more direct contact. I can share an anecdote from me experiences.... A couple if years ago, I got two passes to attend the live taping of a local variety show. The premise of the show is that two hosts welcome 3 celebrities and review the significant moments of their lives. When I found out who the 3 invited guests were, I was happy to discover that the 3 were fairly big names in the local entertainment scene. One among them is an actress I can admit I am a fan of. For the weeks leading up to the show, I teased my wife how maybe I would finally get to meet "her" for real. When the day of the taping arrived, as we entered the studio, I discovered that not only were we sitting in the very front row, directly behind this actress, but we were also sitting right beside her family. Short story, each break in taping, the actress would come over to see her family and would be literally a few feet away and at each instance, my wife would suggest why not introduce myself and ask for a picture... well, to revert back to an earlier statement. I chickened out ! It earned me a few months of teasing about being a fan boy. But wait, that isn't the full story, a few months later, somehow I had become facebook friends with her ( not follow her page but be FB friends like for real). I have been able to exchange occasional messages with her and even tell her about my almost meeting her ( and sharing a picture of her standing an arm's length away). Of course my wife likes to say that it isn't really her but someone from her PR team. Back to the post... so is this new access to celebrities via social media a good thing. In many cases it can bem but often, it can turn ugly. And all of the sudden, a cycle of intrusiveness has been created and we see a trend of trolling and cyber insults while hiding behind a keyboard dramatically increase. The digital age has allowed people to senselessly vent off their feelings about subjects and people with no repercussions or worry. Human curiosity aggressively grows They now needed to know everything about each other and most importantly they wanted to know everything about public figures. That is when the age of paparazzi and tabloids began. Celebrities are now unable to go about their daily lives without flashing lights and screaming fans. They are living life under a microscope with every move and flaw pointed out to the general public just for the sake of their own entertainment. Abruptly, people needed to know every certain aspect of a celebrity’s life. Who are they dating? what is their sexuality? Who are they feuding with? Do they have a mental problem? How are these celebrities supposed to keep their sanity when the world around them is going insane? Being a celebrity doesn’t make you less human, it only makes people around you act inhumane. You get all these media stories every day about a famous person loosing it or going insane, but none mention that they’re the reason behind their insanity. As I said before, we were born to be curious human beings but to what extent do we draw the line? Celebrities are not objects or puppets for entertainment, they are living , breathing human beings. So maybe instead of getting caught up in what they do, we should try and keep in mind who they are. However let's be honest, we all have some public figure we admire and wish we could have the chance to meet at least once even if briefly. Meeting a celebrity is a momentous occasion, but there are definitely wrong and right ways to do it. It's easy to imagine everything that can go awry when you meet your favorite celeb for the first time. Avoid that stress with this handy list of things to do in order to avoid making a fool of yourself. First, remember that it's totally okay to be starstruck. It's not every day that you encounter a star your admire, so those emotions are completely natural. Still, that doesn't mean you should lose your cool. Introduce yourself like you would any other person. Be assertive and friendly, greeting them and letting them know who you are. After all, you probably want them to remember you, and knowing your name helps! If all goes well, they'll introduce themselves, too—not that you needed any introduction and most importantly, follow their lead. Don't assume they want to shake your hand or give you a hug just because that's what you desperately want to happen. No touching or invading personal space unless they say it's okay. Strike a balance in your attention to them. Your gut may tell you to lead by telling them you love them and gush about how much they mean to you, but that's not the best way to make the first impression. On the other hand, don't try to ignore or snub them to act like you don't care. You'll want to find a spot somewhere in the middle, treating them with respect without going completely overboard. If you want to talk to them about an aspect of their lives, stick to information that's commonly known and widely available. Don't bring up some obscure bit of trivia you read about them in a rare book. It might come off as creepy. Like you might with anyone else, find common ground and build a conversation around it, especially if it's relevant to the current situation. Human connection isn't about saying something superficial but perhaps sharing about something that you know is important to them and really resonates with you. If you have a question for them about their work, be original. People really don't like answering the same obvious question over and over and over again, so try to catch them off-guard with a thoughtful question they probably haven't heard before. Always remember, that no matter how huge the celebrity, how popular they are, there is there public persona and their private side. They manage what the public gets to see based on their chosen profession. So when it comes to you, be yourself, they don't have any public opinion of you. Don't be who you think they might find interesting. Don't assume it's okay to snap a photo with them. Ask first if it's cool, and if they cooperate, you'll get much better results. Most importantly, like in life, be respectful, be genuine and be yourself.
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AuthorAfter many years of coaching at various levels and with different teams, I thought I would share some of my experiences and thoughts about coaching. Archives
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