Recently, the news is full of stories about coaching abuses that took place within the NWSL, and to be honest this isn't a recent phenomenon. It remains the dark side of sport at all levels, when coaches use their positions of authority of abuse or harass athletes and the cover up that often occurs. This is mirrored in society but I want to focus on the sports' aspect.
I have written in the past at various times about the relationship between athlete and coach, and how gender sometimes plays in ( or doesn't play in) to that dynamic. You can if so inclined read some of those older posts, you can find them here. the-role-of-gender-in-coaching-and-coach-athlete-relationships.html coach-athlete-relationship-more-than-just-about-performance.html do-female-athletes-prefer-male-coaches-fact-or-myth.html coaches-must-be-role-models.html But now, to the point of today's blog post. We often hear stories about how coaches have impacted the lives of their athletes on and off the playing surface. How a coach along the career path of an athletes inspired or motivated him or her. However today, I wanted to share some opinions from the opposite perspective, how my former athletes affected my life, what they gave to me and the role they played in helping me become who I am today. I have a very good memory for faces. I remember things that maybe most people don’t. My wife often jokes how we have crossed paths with people I know in some of the weirdest places, the HR director who hired me during a week stay at a Mexican resort, just weeks after he made me the job offer, a former employee at an out of the way rest stop in Italy, to a pro-football coach with ties to the school where I coached during another vacation.. and so many more. I remember so many athletes, even if they don’t always remember me. They’ve touched my life in countless ways, and I want to dedicate this to them. I would not be the person I am today without having met them. The adventures, the competitive moments, the laughter shared, the trust that was built, every single little thing. To my start in coaching at the club level, where I fell into coaching really by accident and only because my wife played on the team and the head coach thought since I attended games anyways, I might as well help out, to having him quite 2 months into the season and finding myself in charge of the team. From the disappointment of losing in the provincial final my first year, to winning back to back provincial championships and competed at nationals. To coaching players who were my friends first, and were able to separate friendship from coaching and allowed me to figure out my way in coaching even if there were time I can admit I had no idea what I was doing. Thank you for showing me that we can still enjoy being part of a competitive team without being an athlete. I’m grateful to the players that I thought were showed patience with my decisions but challenged me to become a better coach. To the two national team players that were part of that group, I would look to them for reactions when I made certain decisions and figured if they thought I was doing something right, then maybe I was. To going through a few disappointing years where we had good teams but came up short when playing in the provincials, to reaching once again the nationals in my final year with the club, which provided me with closure on that chapter of my coaching career and the confidence to move on to the provincial level. To the two core groups that I got to work with on the provincial teams. Contrary to my experience at the club level, I had no prior interaction with any of the athletes before we started working together and yet guys, you immediately welcomed me. I did one year as an assistant coach followed by 4 as their head coach with one group and two years working with a younger group of athletes. I felt respected, even though it was obvious I was still learning. It was one of my favorite experiences, working with the top players of their respective age groups in the province, old and mature enough to understand some of the concepts I was trying to incorporate but young enough that they hadn't lost their enthusiasm and desire to grow as athletes. with the provincial teams, I experienced my first real moments of traveling with a team, working on team building experiences, working more closely with athletes then just running practices and coaching games. Some of the players I worked with went on to play at university, on the national team, participate at World Cups and Olympics. I watched athletes grow and mature between the ages of 14 to 19, saw them evolve and grow into the adults they were going to become. I have run into some of these players years on and it always brings back great memories. Working with the provincial teams created the opportunity for me to work at our national training center with the top female players of our province and it is during these years I really developed into the coach I wanted to be It was also during these years, in parallel that my professional work career started to flourish as I moved into more senior managerial roles. My experiences in coaching really help me develop my leadership skills and apply them with my employees. I would like to think the same caring and athlete first mentality I tried to project in my coaching was evident as a work place manager. To those athletes from the my 16 years coaching at the university level. When my time with the provincial teams ended, I was at a crossroads. I didn't really feel any interest in returning to the club level. I felt a certain been there, done that sensation and the idea of dealing with club politics and parents ( although those issues seemed to always be around), was not really appealing. I tried to envision what might be the next challenge in terms of coaching and one day saw a job posting for the head coaching role at Concordia. Honestly, had I not seen that, my coaching career might have been done. I had found the next experience I wanted to be part of. When I got the job, I had no idea how long I would be there but it ended up being 16 years. I had the chance to work with certain athletes for 3, 4 and even 5 years. In actual fact one specific individual was around for 7 years as she became an assistant coach after using up her eligibility. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't always perfect and there were some tough moments especially when you look at the results, but it was during these years that I fully embraced the ideal that coaching is much more than just about wins and losses unless you are coaching at the professional level or the top competitive teams. I got to work in a highly competitive, professional environment and show up each day in awe of the work and dedication student-athletes put in to being successful on the field and in the classroom. From the first moments of meeting these individuals during the recruiting process to watching them move on after graduation, the growth they went through was amazing. The last couple of years were tough to be honest and makes me question what impact I might have really had on the athletes ( you can read those opinions here) a-not-so-fond-look-back.html However I know I wouldn’t be where I am today without those athletes. Working at the university level gave me a renewed sense of purpose in the ideals I tried to guide my life by. There was something very special being a small part in something bigger than just a team, wearing the school colors, representing the university, working with these women finding their way towards the next chapters of their lives. It kept me involved in a competitive environment, it kept my young of mind and spirit. I got to be with the athletes 5 days a week during the season and 3 or 4 days a week during the winter. I got to know these athletes quite well. It is generally fun to cross paths with many of them years after they have moved on but some, got out of their way to avoid contact and I guess that is fine, but doesn't diminish the impact that they had on me. And to top it all, working at the university level, allowed me to represent my country twice at international competitions, expand my network of coaches ( some of whom became good friends), be on the inside of some decision making bodies allowing me to pursue my desire to make a difference for women's sport and women in sport. But time moves on. So, I’ll now no longer be working with athletes, I can't imagine any scenario that would see me get back into coaching so there will be no new experiences, no further interaction with athletes These thought and feelings are something very important I needed to get out and I am at a point in my life I am my comfortable sharing comfortably about. When I posted my most recent blog post, a few former athletes saw it, gave me the social media like, but one reached up and shared some comments about what I had written. I showed me that while who knows how many former athletes might not remember me as fondly, they on the other hand will always carry a special place in my heart. I am 3 years on in the chapter of my life that doesn't include coaching, and it took me until this very moment to realize just how much of an impact my former athletes have had on me — and it’s weird, because as coaches we often think about the impact we can have on athletes. Which is very important…but maybe we need to stop and smell the roses more often.
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AuthorAfter many years of coaching at various levels and with different teams, I thought I would share some of my experiences and thoughts about coaching. Archives
January 2023
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