One of the cornerstones of my coaching philosophy is the saying " Winning is a consequence, focus on the process and the results will come". It is a saying that was in the player manual I would hand out to my players, on our code of conduct and part of many a discussion.
This was not to say that I didn't or don't value winning, quite on the contrary, as a both a player and coach, I had a driving obsession about winning. When I played, I wanted to win every mini game, scrimmage, exhibition of our course games. As a coach, that desire to win was still there but it was tempered with the realization that there are many factors which affect results which are out of a coaches or players control. The goal was to ensure that as a group, we made sure that everything within our control was focused on, every foreseeable scenario had a planned response and that we executed to the best of our ability. If we did that well, then more often than not, we would give ourselves a chance to win. However, the debate about how coaches work with their groups, whether it is about coaching to win or coaching develop is most important is a discussion that always takes place. Winning ! It’s become a taboo word, not just in soccer but in all youth sports. Most recently the debate has become an issue of coaches choosing winning or development, as if they are mutually exclusive. Coaches who develop players the right way don’t have to choose either or because winning and development go hand in hand, but first you will have to understand what “winning” truly means. When you look at sports from an overall view, there are fewer winners than there are losers. At the end of a season, there is one champion or league winner, not a majority. So does that mean that only the winners are successful and that all losers are not? The idea we face today that winning doesn’t matter, only development, stems from the extreme “win at all costs” mentality that many involved with any youth sport promote. Because of that extreme, the polar opposite has arisen where we tell our players that winning doesn’t matter, and here is our ultimate issue. Winning matters. But development matters more. Let’s understand that. They both matter. There’s a score at the end of the game, there is generally a “winning” team and a “losing” team in games. There’s a reason, however, that there are quotations around both those words. What does winning mean after all? Does winning mean having the better score in a U7 league game? Does winning mean a team that goes unbeaten in Division 1 in their U8 group? To some, yes. For me, “winning” or more specific a “winning mentality” means players who are hungry and determined to give 100% at improving everything they do. Inspire our youth to be hungry and motivated to improve constantly at whatever they do, and soon the hunger to win games will also develop. Too often, however, we start on the wrong end. Let’s first look at the argument of why “winning over development” survives to this day, and then let’s look at what the kids think. This is their game, after all. By the early teens, around the ages of 13 or 14, almost 3/4 of kids involved in organized sports drop out of the game. Often, the reasoning is that they aren’t “having fun anymore” and they’ve lost interest. Here is where “winning at all costs” comes to life. After all, when adults take their own personal experience, winning is always equated to fun. They fondly remember their time as a player, coach, or even spectator, and the elation that came from winning. The equation is simple with the “win at all costs mentality”: If kids aren’t winning, kids will want to drop out because they aren’t having fun. Who enjoys losing? It’s a poisonous idea that permeates through all aspects of youth sports and is one of the major factors that sees kids dropping out of organized sport at an alarming rate. Read again, the “win at all costs” adultification of youth sports is the most damaging aspect of youth development. Do kids want to win games? Yes, but how long do they dwell on losses as compared to mom and dad? By the early teens, around the ages of 13 or 14, almost 3/4 of kids involved in organized sports drop out. It’s a fact worth repeating, and in all this debate, adults are the ones throwing around what kids want. It’s fascinating when a parent is explaining what their seven year old son or daughter wants. If you were to ask the kids directly what they want out of sports, I think the answers would be quite surprising, well maybe not surprising if you are in tune with youth sports, but let's says quite different from the answers that might arise if the same questions were asked of parents. I think and somewhat from experience, I believe kids and teens when asked about what they enjoy about participating in sports would answer they participated in sports because it was fun. Fun, however, means a lot of different things for a lot of different people. Trying your best, being treated with respect by the coach, and getting playing time are the most important factors that kids define fun by. Tournaments and trophies? Not up there, sorry folks. This is fun for one group, certainly, but unfortunately they aren’t the one’s playing. Trying your best is essentially the idea of giving 100%. It’s that winning mentality, and if we can continue to foster it, we are one step ahead of the game in helping to create “winners.” Kids generally forget about results soon after the game is over. The game is really won or lost, however, in the car ride home. As Project Play explains, kids often forget about the result ten minutes after a game is over, but are often reminded of it constantly in the car-ride home and at dinner that day. We are responsible for the environment we create for our players and our children. If you think your son or daughter’s value lies in winning a medal at the end of the year, even if they have (which is often the case in “win at all costs” mentality) regressed in technical development or tactical awareness, then you would much prefer playing in division 5 where your team wins 7-0 every game. You’ll get a lot of trophies to put on the mantelpiece, but they’ll all stop after a certain age. The obsession for short term success had decidedly destroyed the long term possibilities for players. Instead of harping on the most recent scoreline in your league game, why not watch the game and see where your son or daughter could improve. Why not explain to them, as coaches should be doing also, that they have to strive for perfection within themselves before they worry about perfection manifested in scorelines and results. At 7, are we talking about perfection? No, but we are extolling the values of hard work, a never-quit attitude, and always working to get better. That’s what perfection is. Winning is important, but development is more important. Develop the winning mentality, see kids take ownership of their own technical development, understanding that one hour of practice a week is not enough, and watch the results come, eventually. Eventually is the key word here. Don’t expect this to happen over the course of a week, a season, maybe even a year. Development is not a straight line. Ups will come with downs, and development does not mean constant, unchecked progression. Unfortunately, as many coaches who value proper development know, it isn’t always easy. It takes a village to educate a child. Coaches can and should do their part to ensure they are developing a player for long term success, but we need help from parents to. The environment we create for these players is of the utmost importance. Next time you’re watching your son or daughter play, forget the result at the end. The result only serves to guide your player on what they need to improve on, nothing more. I have dozens of trophies and medals from my own days playing sports as a youth, and to be completely honest, I barely remember any of them. As a coach, my fondest memory isn’t the victories I’ve had with different teams. Nor is it the playoff appearances, or tournaments I’ve been to or even won. My fondest memories are much more simple, and much more memorable. They almost always related to emails, texts or discussions I might get from or have with former players who thank me for creating an environment where they felt they could thrive in, or that through my coaching, it gave them a skill set they could apply to their lives beyond sport. Those are as valid as looking back on results. The focus wasn’t on short term success. It was always much larger than that. Develop and win. One comes before the other, and for good reason.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorAfter many years of coaching at various levels and with different teams, I thought I would share some of my experiences and thoughts about coaching. Archives
January 2023
Categories
All
|