Ok so that isn't the real saying, it actually goes, " When life gives you lemons, make lemonade" . It has been used for years as a phrase meant encourage optimism and a positive can-do attitude in the face of adversity or misfortune. Lemons suggest sourness or difficulty in life; making lemonade is turning them into something positive or desirable. Taken at face value, I guess it is meant to say that if you don't like lemons, somehow you will still enjoy lemonade. Well I like anything lemon flavored so I am good either way but I will take it as the starting point to write about deadline with adversity in sports primarily but I guess it can apply in a general sense to life.
So let's start of with the obvious, sometimes and in some case often times, life is not fair. Even when you make all the right choices, do everything as it should be done, bad things still happen. Adversity is a part of life. Everyone encounters difficult situations. Some even encounter tragedies. Whether in sport or in life in general, hardships are the circumstances that define us as people and gives us a story to tell. However let's keep things in perspective, adversity in sport, something like not getting playing time is relatively minor in comparison to some of the things people are faced with in life, illness, death, famine, wars to name a few. When faced with adversity, there are generally two possible outcomes. Either you beat it or it beats you. Overcoming adversity does two things for athletes. It helps them grow as an athlete AND as a person. Teams and individuals both have to learn to be resilient. As an individual athlete, you have to overcome things such as injuries or “choking”. As a team you may have to overcome a losing streak or slump. Resilience is how efficiently you recover from difficult circumstances or tragedies. One does not only face adversity once in life. Adversity comes and goes as do the obstacles that you face. It is said that the quickest path to get somewhere is in a straight line. This is not the case with success however. In order to be successful, there will be times when you might have to take “ a few steps forward", then "a few steps back or sideways" before reaching an objective. Failures happen. The most important part is that you keep going and use the failures as teachable moments. Whether dealing with adversity in your personal life or adversity in sports, you can’t control what happens in life, but you can control how you deal with it. Anyone can remain positive when everything is going fine, but adversity is what tests your true capabilities. So let me begin with a few ways I think ( and I am quite sure others will agree) you shouldn’t deal with adversity. Don’t play the “blame” game. Own your mistakes. You can’t blame the referee for making the bad call. You can’t blame the weather, crowd, or your teammates for things gone wrong. Although there are circumstances outside of your control in both life and a game situation, there is one element you can control, yourself. Despite everything going wrong, you can choose to develop a game plan to overcome the obstacles or accept defeat. Even defeat is not a complete failure. Good and bad exist simultaneously. In every situation, there is good and bad news. It is up to you which side you focus on. With every loss, you must remember that there are lessons learned that can be taken from it. You learn from your mistakes, make adjustments and move on. Don’t lose your temper. By losing your temper, you are showing the crowd, the opponent, and everybody else that you know you blew it. You are also showing them that you are out of control. Losing your temper does nothing but distract you at the task at hand and leave you unprepared for the next step or play. For example, you get yourself in a position to take a shot on goal. you miss completely. You drop your shoulders, retreat into a bubble of being pissed at yourself, don't get back on defense, and don't even pay attention as the game continues around you. You’re adrenaline is pumping and you are dwelling on your mistake. However, this is not what you want to be doing. What you want to be doing is calming down so you are at ease for the next opportunity. In that moment you are pissed and not focused, you might miss chances to score and send a message to everyone else that you are checked out. Sometimes the anticipation is too much to bear. There’s a common phrase, “wanting something so bad it hurts”. Sometimes in a competitive sports setting, the athlete wants something so bad that it hinders their performance. They spend too much time, thinking about it and envisioning the outcome, then what to do to actually achieve the desired outcome. However, this is a step in the right direction. When trying to achieve any goal, you should envision it- but momentarily so as not to lose focus on the process. You picture it, then let the image go so you can complete the goal. In life and on the field, you should love the battle. Much can be learned from adversity in sports settings.Eventually, everyone faces some level of adversity in an sector of life (work, school, sport, etc.). Instead of dwelling on “why me?” and “what now?’’, you should embrace the battle. It’s the battles that are going to give the strength and the confidence that will define you as a person and a player. It is impossible to prepare for every possible situation you will face whether in sport or life. There are so many factors that affect anything we do or attempt to do that are beyond our control that we can't possibly always be ready for everything. Dealing with adversity is about being prepared, having the best possible attitude and being flexible enough to adapt to changing situations as they happen. Attitude is key to everything, you must have an open mind a positive attitude and be prepared to roll with change and make the best of it. The minute we start getting down on ourselves, the minute we play head games and mess with our plan, or let uncontrollable forces mess with us, we are done and nothing good can happen. As an athlete, you have to make the right choices. All you can do is keep working hard, train smart, eat well, get good rest, and keep mental focus and positive thoughts going. Once you derail from that and get down over a bad training session or bad game / performance then you are just getting in your own way of being able to accomplish whatever it is that you have worked so hard for. In my life whether work, sports of personal exchanges, I have always found that one powerful mindset is to keep everything in perspective. In life, very few things are completely "wrong" or "right" "Wrong" and "right," especially in regards to success in sports, are relative terms. Too often, we think of "success" as an end. It's some destination that we have to reach. What so many people fail to realize is that there is as much "success" in the journey, as there is in the ultimate objective You are always successful when you are walking your path, getting to play your sport, training the right way, improving as an athlete ( and person, always learning, always growing. You are being successful when you see every moment as an opportunity. Too much of today's reality is focused on instant gratification, the need to get success right away and thinking that any obstacle is some sort of permanent blockage to success. Too many athletes see themselves as being stuck at the first sign of adversity or disappointment. They thing that because it isn't working out this instant there is nowhere else to go, and they feel like they will never reach the desired destination of "success." The reason why so many people struggle with this is because it means taking accountability. It is so, so easy to sit back and blame one's situation on others, the coach who won't give playing time, the teammates who don't pass you the ball, the refs who dislike you and call everything against you etc. This is the same as blaming other people for how you feel, or your personal issues. Just like a mirror, if you point, your reflection will point back. If you feel like you aren't learning anything, that is nobody's fault but yours. Chances are, someone around you knows something you don't--and it's on you to ask them questions. It's on you to create moments of growth and opportunity. It's on you to pay attention to the little things around you. It's on you to create your own gaps, and it's on you to take your own leaps of faith. Growth is rarely the result of the people in your vicinity. Growth is the result of how you utilize the people around you, and create opportunities for yourself. So when you are involved in sports, never assume you know everything, never get complacent or take things for granted and never wait for others to make you achieve success. Really, that goes for all parts of life. Be bold enough to make your own success !
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AuthorAfter many years of coaching at various levels and with different teams, I thought I would share some of my experiences and thoughts about coaching. Archives
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