Anyone who has ever coached or been involved with sport at the youth or young adult level can probably share stories about athletes who have been self centered, had a sense of entitlement, or have come across as being the type that feel the rules do not apply to them.
As society had changed with the emergence of social media, the selfie craze, and people being able to instantly share images and stories about their day, there is a more significance presence of the "me first" or "what's in it for me " attitude. There is a constant barrage of images from sport whether showing incredible athletic feats or less then ideal behavior. Many of today's younger athletes are influenced by behaviors they see on social media which they view as "just being really cool" -- athletes they then try to imitate when they play. Some haven't even figured out how to master some of the technical requirements of their sport or understand the tactical directions given but yet they're going to act like they're really good players. Forget about playing for the love of the game or to support teammates, too many players are focused on themselves. The social interactions between people and wide range of platforms for them to vent, share thoughts, or provide commentary on their day to day activities can sometimes create the mindset that they are allowed to get away with just whatever. The lines of acceptable behavior and the ideal of taking responsibility and accountability for ones actions and decisions are very blurred. It has created a reality where it's ok to put oneself first. 'I didn't score, so why should I be happy?' 'I'm not getting enough minutes; why should I be happy?' That's the world we live in today, unfortunately. Kids check the scoreboard sometimes because they're going to get yelled at by their parents if they don't score enough points. There is too much of a "me" culture in youth sports, too much involvement by parents, too many coaches concerned only with winning and too little focus on just playing the game. There is less accountability and responsibility for how are and how they interact with others. We hear so much and see so much of the coddled generation these days and this is no different in youth sports, where there is a focus on the 'me' culture in the scramble to earn individual accolades and pad personal accomplishments. As a coach, I have often had teams earn a huge win over a tough opponent where as a group we should be excited and proud, only to have a few individuals pouting because they didn't get to play the full 90 minutes or start or earn points. Some have even found ways to discredit a teammates who they felt was playing in "their spot" Even in the best moments for a team, some will look to see only the negatives and often in how if affects them. However, this type of behavior isn't all on the athletes or the changing society. Much too often, youth coaches allow this type of behavior. It is the responsibility of coaches ( including myself) to teach young athletes to be humble, to be hungry and to be a great teammates. It amazes me how many coaches ignore this responsibility because a player's talent might lead to a win or simply because the challenge of setting a good example and sticking to certain principles might seem daunting. As coaches at the young levels shirk the responsibility of teaching accountability, a player's talent may take them to a higher level where "character matters", but they lack the character needed to sustain themselves. Then that's when it all falls apart but it isn't where it starts and it can be hard to change the attitude. It started with parents and coaches at age 12 looking the other way because a kid happened to be a good player. However, when these same athletes get into an environment where they find themselves among equally talented athletes, in a more structured environment where rules and responsibilities are more clearly defined, all of sudden, they can't understand why their behaviors aren't tolerated anymore. They seek out excuses as to why they can't perform and often they will look outwards, blaming coaches and teammates for their shortcomings. I have come to realize that their are grey areas. I can't impose my standards on today's athletes and the fact is that society has changed. However, given the amount of time and effort that my athletes put into the team, I can never understand why some spend some time complaining ( and yet still coming back ) or don't seem to have the drive to use every tool available to them and make every effort possible to play at their top level. During games, I will often look down the bench, checking out what is going on between the players not playing. If players are joking around, chatting about things completely unrelated to the team, or it looks like somebody doesn't care, somebody's not engaged in the game, they will never get in the game. If athlete's are only focused on the team success when it benefits them individually, then that isn't the type of athlete I look to coach. Every team has athletes who will complain that coach always plays favorites or that if they aren't getting on the field it's because the coach doesn't like them but truth be told, without using the word favorite, it is a fact that every coach will have athletes that he or she gives a bigger benefit of the doubt to, who they will trust a little more and it can reflect into playing a little more than other more talented players. Effort and attitude should get rewarded at the highest levels and not just talent but conversely it is important that attitude and commitment also play a role in how a coach evaluates a player. Plenty of people speak about how parents are causing a lot of the problems in the game. Parents living vicariously through their kids, pushing them too hard, too soon. Too many games, too much pressure and not enough fun, The best athletes of prior generations didn't specialize until their late teams . They didn't play the same sport year round for half of their lives because their parents thought they'd 'get left behind. We hear often about parents complaining to sports administrators that a certain coach isn't good, or doing a good job or isn't distributing playing time fairly. Most times, these complaining parents, have no coaching experience ( and in fact often might that have any competitive sports' experience) but yet feel entitled and expert enough to present a credible opinion as to what a specific coach is not qualified to be in charge. Then, in order to avoid conflict, the administrators will replace the coach. What messages does this send ? We change behavior when we can easily change the person making the rules. However, the fault does not lie just with parents, it comes from changing attitudes by coaches and sports administrators. As a good friend of mine who is a teacher told me " when we were young, we respected teachers and coaches for the simple fact that they were teachers or coaches. Today, the kids have to see that it is beneficial for them to respect teachers or coaches before they actually do" . In others words, too many want to see whats in it for them before they commit to the process fully... and this goes for much more than just sport. The biggest reality of these behaviors in sport is that they will actually be reflected in everyday life and in the work place. The minute things don't work out, it must be someone else's fault.
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AuthorAfter many years of coaching at various levels and with different teams, I thought I would share some of my experiences and thoughts about coaching. Archives
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