Hello
Today's post will be somewhat tongue in cheek and for fun as I compare some of the stereotypical differences between athletes on women's and men's teams. Of course I am generalizing, of course there are exceptions and of course it always depends on the level of play, the participants and environment. However, After coaching in women's sports for 27 years and having been a male athlete in my past, yes I did play sports, not to mention having observed athletes in various sports, both genders and sharing discussions with colleagues, I think that there are some constants which always come out in one form or another. Today's post will refer to adult, somewhat recreational teams as competitive athletes want to prolong their playing careers but move away from the high level leagues. The discussion of the book, "Men are from mars, women are from Venus" has come up mostly in discussion around the workplace. I'm not one to follow the whole notions present in the book, some guys are sensitive and some women are hard-edged, just as some men don't show their emotions and some women can't conceal how they feel. But when it comes to adult recreational sports, there is a true separation in how females and males play and in certain behaviors to how each gender deals with peers, conflicts, coaching and competitive situations. Men's teams are made up of personalities. They take jabs at each other about how they played that day. They go to the games an hour before just to shoot the shot, brag and, well, you know. Afterward, they’ll hang out in the parking lot for an hour or so, have a beer, harp on about plays, who made mistakes, how the other team undermined them, what the coach needs to do better. You’d think all of this negativity would have them leaving the park frustrated. But not real mean. Instead they head to a bar to continue the banter, load up on beer and junk feed, basically negating all the calories they burned off actually playing the game, while they reminisce about their glory days of playing soccer in their youth. With women’s teams, players straggle in at varying times before the game, anywhere from 5 to 30 minutes before kickoff. Most of the players show up already dressed, just needing to change from their flip flops or runners into their cleats. There is usually one player who asks if anyone needs to head to the washroom and 4 or 5 join her. For this group, they might constitute warm up. There are always 2 or 3 who take the game seriously and start warming up seriously, running across the width of the field and stretching. Some moms might bring their young kids to the game because God forbid dad has to watch their kids while mom is having some fun playing soccer. You can sometimes hear instructions being yelled out to the kids while teammates try and keep the rugrats in line. Afterward, they might complain about the other team, but it’s usually because "her behavior. wasn’t sportsmanlike" or because "she or they were bitch". There’s no tailgate party. No meeting up after the game. Everyone has to go to work, feed the kids, visit the in-laws; other priorities. And why would we waste the calories we burned off on alcohol and fried food? Small author's note, my wife's team, I learned that her return home time was generally 2 hours after the end of the game as they did the whole share a few beers and stories after the game. Men prolong their playing careers to relive past glories, to try and prove to themselves and others that they still got it. They will always feel they are just one lucky break away from getting called back into a competitive side Women will continue to play for the love of the game and to interact with friends ( and to get away from the house maybe). The social bond is strong. The biggest frustrations might come from those who still see themselves are highly competitive and can't understand why others around them aren't. In both cases, their are always moments when they realize that the mind and desire is willing, but the body just can't follow. Or in my case, I became a coach.
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AuthorAfter many years of coaching at various levels and with different teams, I thought I would share some of my experiences and thoughts about coaching. Archives
January 2023
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