To begin with, let me address the word struggle in the title of this post. I put the word in quotation marks for a reason. Coaching hasn't been a struggle and to be very honest, I think that people struggle with real issues, gender bias, discrimination, illness, financial difficulties, etc. There are many more serious situations that people go through in their lives than my efforts to grow the game of women's soccer in my immediate surroundings.
The choice of the word and bracketing as I need was done purposely though. The struggle was as much me facing people who didn't really care about women's soccer as it was with myself as I discovered my voice and my desire to fight for the bigger picture of women in sport and women's soccer specifically. I have often mentioned about how I come into coaching, it wasn't a choice and I never really saw it as something I wanted to do, and certainly not something I would doing for this long and have it become such an integral part of who I am. As for the choice to coach women's soccer instead of men, again, fell into it. As I look back on the last 27 years I have spent coaching, I can see a definite evolution in how I see my role as a coach and as a defender of women's soccer, to how it has become almost an obligation for me to advocate for women in sports as opposed to women's sports. How I now see it as a small microcosm of the bigger need to help empower female athletes to want to get into coaching but most importantly into positions of leadership. When I started coaching, I fought hard to get the best for my athletes. Gender was not really relevant at that point. I simply worked hard to get what was best for my team and athletes because they were "my athletes" and in many cases my friends and I saw it my responsibility in my role as their coach. My efforts were focused, on getting the best for my team that would help as on the field. As I have written in a previous post, the focus was about winning. The players were with my age bracket, peers so I didn't , couldn't see myself in any form of mentoring role. Truth be told, there were a few who were actually mentoring me. My coaching was done in a somewhat isolated environment where I didn't really have the chance to compare bias or discrepancies based on gender. My team got whatever we fought far and naively, we didn't know what anyone one else ( read males) were getting. At this time, the only gender bias or stereotypes I would come across where men ( generally older in my work environment ) making what some would refer to "locker room banter" type comments but looking back were blatantly sexist and certainly ignorant. I never laughed at the comments, and certainly didn't agree with them but being young I never real contradicted them or stepped up to defend women's sport. I would say that it was the culture and accepted old boy behavior back then but that would be a cop out, I simply was not confident enough or understanding enough to realize that not saying something was the same as playing along. In the early 90s, women's elite sport was basically golf and tennis and every 4 years for summer or winter Olympics. Women's Soccer was certainly not on anyone's radar and the reality was that women's teams coached themselves and girls teams were coached by someone's dad. What young, somewhat accomplished male actually chose to coach women. Again, didn't chose to, but it quickly became part of the fabric of who I am. The sexist comments above were not the norm but there were always gender biased comments, that I must not be good enough to coach men's soccer, that it wasn't real soccer, that it must be fun to be around young athletic women and the like. I ignored the comments and just did my best to learn how to coach. I didn't of myself as coaching women's soccer, just coaching soccer whether the participants happened to be women but more importantly athletes. The reality was that even the club we were a part of, wasn't really hands on with women's soccer, so they pretty much left to run the team as I saw fit. The start of my coaching career ran parallel to the start of my professional career. Each has influenced the other and my views on gender equity are shaped by what I experiences both as a coach and by the progression of my career. My first boss happened to be a female. Someone who had fought and worked hard to get herself into a position of senior management. Truth be told, to this day, after all the different people I have worked for (mostly men yes), no individual has influenced me more in the type of manager that I wanted to be than her. She was a mentor, tough and demanding but who saw potential in me and pushed me to take every chance that presented itself to learn more and become better. Not once do I remember thinking anything less of her just because she was a woman. There were others around who questioned her ability to lead, When I transitioned to coaching with the provincial program, it was the first time where I would participate in discussions with coaches and administrators of both male and female teams. It was there that I got to see the discrepancies that existed between male and female sport. It was still the provincial teams program so the structure was certainly better than what I had seen at the club level, but definitely the boys teams were given greater exposure, support and investment. The bias wasn't blatant but still very clear. Know, it wasn't about standing up for my team, but standing up for my team, my athletes to ensure that we got the fair share of the resources and support. I started to see myself now more as an advocate for women's soccer on the whole, to change the perceptions of the quality of soccer played by female players but mostly to ensure that women's soccer got its due. However it remained strictly a matter that was focused on soccer. For the last 15 years, I have been coaching at Concordia University in Montreal. The time spent coaching in this role represents the biggest portion of my coaching career and certainly the most significant. I also truly believe that it has played a tremendous part in my personal development into the type of individual that I wish to be. It has given me a voice and a purpose for the role that I want to play in my athlete's lives and the role I hope to play in society. My involvement in coaching at the university level, gave me the chance to spend 7 years as president of the USport ( then the CIS ) women's coaches association. To be part of an influential group of decision makers attempting to bring about change. I always knew that coaching soccer and interacting with the athletes was more than wins and losses, Xs & Os, that we could influence individuals in ways that surpasses sport, but it was only once I got to Concordia that the full impact of this truth became so much more evident to me. I meet young student-athletes, female student-athletes precisely, at 17 or 18 years old, pondering what is perhaps their first truly adult decision, where to go to university and what to study. I believe strongly in individual accountability and each person making the decision that is best for them but I have come to realize that for the truly committed student-athlete, who takes the role seriously, the advice or feedback that I as a their coach give them can really influence and affect the choices they make. As young females, even today, they probably have more people telling them what they can't do, what things are beyond their reach that it's important they hear the people that tell them what they can achieve and more importantly that they are exposed to people that provide with the chances and support to actually achieve them. University students are at the age where they discover who they might want to become as adults, what path their lives might take. They should be presented with a wide range of opportunities and given every chance to choose whatever they wish to do, with no obstacles or bias. Being young, there are moments where they will use the comment of " but coach, we are women, you have to understand that it isn't the same for us". This is true but I never allow them to use their gender for an excuse or explanation as to why they should expect less or be expected not to push themselves to get the same things men's sports get. I still fight to get all the support and resources for my team that will help us be successful, but I now see myself fighting for my team and my female athletes not because it's good for the them but because it's the right thing to do. We can't always defer to the norm and to convention and accept that " that's the way it is and we have to accept it". Sometimes we have to be willing to push the boundaries and get rejected, but if we focus on a goal and work hard to achieve it with the right intentions, I truly think we can get there. I have no illusions of grandeur and no false sense of my worth when it comes to fighting for gender equality in sports. While I started out wanting to just to get more exposure for the women's game which would hopefully result in increased investment and support, I now see myself working for something greater, to have my female athletes feel empowered and confident to take on bigger roles in society once they move on from playing. However the reality is that while I believe in what I am doing, while I feel that I have a role to play in eliminating gender bias and unfair stereotypes, the fact is that I am a male. I can never put myself in the place of any woman, I can never fully understand or experience the issues they face. My struggle is that I can only do my best to ensure that my actions when I am working with female athletes and by extension, any females in any context, at worst, do not perpetuate any bias or inequalities that they might face and hopefully at best create an environment where they are ready to face the challenges. It is possible that I am full of myself to think that my coaching, my actions can help a problem that affects society, but it won't stop me from trying.
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AuthorAfter many years of coaching at various levels and with different teams, I thought I would share some of my experiences and thoughts about coaching. Archives
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