My experience in coaching females significantly outweighs the experience I have coaching on the male side. I have sometimes asked myself how I might fare if I were to switch into coaching in the men's game. Could all the experience and skills I have developed over the course of my career translate into coaching men or boys.
In any case, over the years I have observed a few significant differences between coaching males and females. My perceptions are supported by discussion I have had with peers and colleagues who have coached in both or just men ( and they often asked themselves the same question I do but in reverse, could they handle coaching female soccer). If you get the chance to read anything by Anson Dorrance, probably the most successful women's coach of all time and the pioneer of the women's game at the international, it is interesting to see some of the "culture shock" he experienced when he made the switch. Some of the comments you will read below will seem stereotypical on the surface and the reality is that every group is different. Not every group of female athletes or male athletes will exhibit the traits I list below, but I seen it more as tendencies to keep in mind In my humble opinion, these are some of the main differences..... 1. COACHABILITY Females: On the whole, females tend to be more coachable then males. Compared to male athletes, females tend to be more open to coaching and new ways of doing things. They are willing to try new techniques, especially if it will help them perform better. Females tend to give their coaches much more initial respect, rather than reserving judgment or making their coaches prove they are credible. They also are much more appreciative of good coaching and willing express their gratitude in large and small ways. Women on the whole, seem to want to please their coaches more so than men do. Males: Male athletes tend to be more convinced (and sometimes deluded) of their own prowess, and are therefore often less coachable. They may feel like they know everything there is to know about the sport and will dismiss the coach if they do not think he/she is credible. They force coaches to prove that they know more than them. Males sometimes brace against coaching, especially if it is the in-your-face, coercive approach. When the coercive style is used, many males seek to prove the coach wrong, whereas women might have a tendency to shut down when this approach is used. Ironically, the coercive approach can yield the desired result in the short-term with some males - better performance - although the athlete often ends up despising the coach for it. 2. CONFIDENCE Females: Confidence is one of those factors that is obviously critical for every athlete. All athletes struggle with their confidence, however, a good number of females I have worked with, even at the elite levels, have found maintaining consistent confidence their toughest struggle. While confidence seems to ooze from the pores of the most successful male athletes, there are many world-class female athletes who struggle with their confidence. They attribute their skills and successes to luck rather than to their talent and hard work. They also tend to base their confidence more on what they think others (coaches, teammates, fans) think of them -- rather than relying on their internal sources of confidence. Because of this, their confidence becomes very fragile and fleeting. Females also tend to be more open and forthcoming when they are not feeling confident. They are less inhibited to show a lack of confidence in their body language and words. As some coaches have succinctly paraphrased, many women need to feel good to play good. Males: Male athletes are taught from an early age to project confidence and toughness. Why? Similar to the animal kingdom, the Alpha Male tends to get all the attention, accolades, and awards. The top males exude a sense of confidence. Sometimes the confidence is classy and contained by humility. However, more and more, the confidence has become cockiness and bravado. Some men's overconfidence contributes to poor preparation, selfish attitudes, poor social behavior - and motivates opponents to put him in his place. Cocky male athletes often need coaches who are willing stand up to them and cut them down to size so they don't get too full of themselves. Of course, like females, all males struggle with the confidence from time to time. The difference is that most males will go to great lengths not to show that they are struggling. They will often shut down and not seek the help they need to get back on track. They would much rather try to do it all on their own. In my sport psych consulting at Arizona years ago, the females were much more likely to take advantage of the services than were the males. It seems that most males base their confidence more on internal factors such as their strengths and past successes. In this way their confidence tends to be a little more stable and durable. Whereas females have a tendency to rely more on external factors for their confidence - namely, other's opinions of them. 3. CRITICISMPicture this scenario: A frustrated coach comes into the locker room and starts chastising the team because of poor play. "We aren't working hard enough, our teamwork is horrible, and this is unacceptable!" Many females in the room think, "Coach is talking to me. He thinks I'm not working hard enough. I'm letting him and the rest of the team down." The males on the other hand are thinking, "You're right coach. John and Jim really are sucking it up tonight. They better pick it up or we all are going to lose this game." Females: In the example above, many females take the coach's criticism personally. They believe a general statement made to the team is something that was meant for them individually. Females tend to be more sensitive to comments that are made; often because they are internalized and scrutinized for an underlying message or meaning. Similarly, I often talk with females who are offended by teammates who use loud and blunt language during competition. They sometimes interpret the harsh tone as a personal attack, rather than critical information that needs to be conveyed in a high-stress and time-bound setting. Males: Males on the other hand often depersonalize general criticism and think it is not meant for them. Thus, coaches need to be more specific when addressing males who need to improve. Once males do somehow understand the criticism is directed at them, they will often fight against it. For many males, their approach is to prove the coach wrong and make him eat his own words. Thus, criticizing men and telling them they are not good enough or that no one respects them, while often confidence-crushing for women, is often viewed as a personal challenge by men. 4. CHEMISTRY Females: Chemistry is important for both genders, but seems especially critical for females. Each woman wants to feel connected to the other in some way. The web also symbolizes that all women are on the same plane and that one is not necessarily better than the other. This is in contrast to the typical male hierarchical structure of relationships, where there is a distinct pecking order, much like a totem pole. Thus, good team chemistry is highly valued by many female athletes. At some levels and on some teams, the importance of team chemistry is at least on par with and sometimes trumps winning. It is a critical criterion for many females when they judge the quality of their sporting experience. Thus, many females are continuously on the look out for ways to enhance team bonding. They will often plan team dinners, arrange movie nights, create elaborate pre-game rituals, organize secret psych pals, etc. all in an effort to enhance team chemistry. When things are going well, the team provides a great source of unity and nurturing social community. However, when it goes bad, chaos, drama, and resentments are sure to follow. Disagreements, slights, and problems between teammates can be very disruptive to the web. Much like a spider web, when you cut a key strand, the rest of the web has a hard time not getting all bent out of shape. Thus, team issues do have a greater tendency to distract, disrupt, and sometimes destroy a female team. The off field issues can easily find themselves on the field when teammates refuse to warm up with each other. And the issue becomes a major distraction that takes the focus and energy away from competition. Males: Chemistry is important for men and should also be developed, monitored, and maintained. However, men seem to believe that chemistry is not as important to winning and having a successful sport experience as it is for the females. The males would like to get along with their teammates, but it isn't absolutely necessary for their team to be successful. The differences between men and women when it comes to chemistry can be best categorized using what researchers call task cohesion and social cohesion. Task cohesion means that the team is all focused on the same common goal - usually winning a conference, state and/or national championship. Social cohesion refers to how well the teammates get along with each other. When it comes to team building for males, it seems that task cohesion is the most important and that social cohesion is a nice plus and desirable - but not a necessary component. Females on the other hand highly value social cohesion. Further, it seems that a female team's level of social cohesion plays a big role in determining the team's task cohesion. Translation: Good team chemistry is a highly significant factor in how well a female team performs.
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AuthorAfter many years of coaching at various levels and with different teams, I thought I would share some of my experiences and thoughts about coaching. Archives
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