There is the saying, "healthy body, healthy mind" Most of us have heard or read about this and some people also keep saying this to others as friendly advice. It has a simple but deep meaning. For a healthy mind, healthy body, we obviously know we should be both physically and mentally healthy and fit.
This simple saying would indicate that by being physically active, perhaps by participating in some sporting actively, it will benefit us in our everyday lives by keeping our minds sharp. However, I think sports have a much bigger impact, or at least they can in the ideal. In this context, I am not taking about professional sports and the millions of dollars associated with them but sports in a very general way. I think at the youth levels, sports can have a significant impact on developing children in ways that will make them contributing members of society. Of course this is very dependent on the coaches being good role models and being able to realize the impact they have on our youth. If it is a proven fact that youth sports are a medium to teach young players life lessons. Youth sports are going to teach young players a lot more than the required sport specific skills. There are a lot of life lessons players will learn on their journey through participation in youth sports and which can influence long after their playing days are done. Let’s be honest, players have a very, very slim chance of playing on the national team, professional sports or even competing at the university level. I don’t say this to be harsh or pessimistic, but to emphasize the importance of focusing on how you can help every single player you coach. I have coached athletes from early teens to adults and regardless of the age group or level of competition, I am a big believer that there are some common life lessons and skills that can be assimilated through competition in sport. These are most important at the youth levels as individuals are developing their personalities and are more easily influenced. Some of the more significant life lessons that I think can be learned through sport are the following; Mistakes are not failures but rather an opportunity to learn - Start with the notion that no one is perfect, no one goes through life never making a mistake. When it comes to sport, there will be many times when players make mistakes during games or practice. Mistakes will often happen when someone steps out of their comfort zone and tries something new. How many inventions or advancements have occurred as a result of a mistake ? Coaches have to reassure their players that it’s okay to make these mistakes, they’re learning experiences. A good coach will challenge the players to evaluate the mistake themselves with questions such as ‘Why do you think that happened?’ and ‘What could you do next time to change the outcome?’. As long as players are learning from their mistakes, they should be pushing themselves and making as many mistakes as they can. Sports teach individuals the value of teamwork and the skills of leadership - On any team, sports or in the workplace, not everyone fully controls their own destiny. We rely on others for success and in most groups leaders emerge. There is a certain truth that leaders are born and not made, however, while I do think certain individuals can more easily move into leadership positions, I think a good coach can identify leadership potential and nurture it. If we consider sports to be a mirror of society in a much simpler way, one could argue that sports can provide different players an opportunity to be a leader on their team. This could be as simple as making a different player responsible for warm-ups before each practice, allowing the players to make decisions, or rotating the captain of each game. If given these opportunities to lead, players will become much more confident leading others and develop leadership skills that most kids rarely have the opportunity to learn. Sports provide a natural selection when it comes to leadership, given a chance , leaders will step up and those not apt to be leaders, will at least understand the requirements and accept that perhaps their skills are a better fit in other roles. Just as it’s important to learn how to lead others, it’s also incredibly important that players learn how to be lead by others. Having a coach is in a lot of ways similar to having a boss. The coach is an authority figure that will be giving instruction, praise, and criticism to the player. By experiencing how to follow, players will learn how to take instructions, how to respectfully question authority, and even patience if they disagree. This will give them plenty of lessons as to how they want to lead in the future. Sports by nature are a emotional and physical activities, and body language speaks volumes - Sports bring out competitive instincts even when winning or losing isn't the primary focus. How individuals react in moments of stress, competition, adversity and disappointment can say a lot about them, even though they might not realize it. Body language says a lot about how a person is feeling and what they’re thinking. I’ve found a lot of players display poor body language without even realizing it and youth sports is a great medium to address that since most coaches won’t accept it on their team. Players will quickly learn that if they throw their hands in the air in disgust because a teammate missed a short, it’s a poor display of sportsmanship. Similarly, while on the bench players better make sure they’re displaying positive body language. I have always been disappointed when my athlete on the bench were joking around or not watching the game. It sent the message that since they were not playing, what was happening on the field wasn't important for them in that moment. It’s well known that body language is one of the main criteria that recruiters look at when evaluating players or employers look at when selecting potential employees so why not use sports as a way to address it. Aside from body language, ones emotions or the ability to manage them, are also a tell tale sign of a person's character. Youth sports can be frustrating. Not only for the players, but for parents and coaches too. There will be games when the referees don’t seem like they even have a whistle in their mouth. Every player will experience games where regardless of the best efforts, things just don't go right. When these things happen, players will learn that getting angry or frustrated about it doesn’t help the situation and inevitably impacts performance. Experiencing feelings of frustration and anger and learning how to control them will help players in all aspects of their lives. Goal Setting - I am a big believer that goal setting, short, mid and long term goals, and planning the process to achieve them. Youth sports is a great place to learn how to set goals and determine how to achieve them with no repercussions if they fall short or fail. Players will learn that setting goals gives you a target to reach for and adds motivation while on the journey to achieving them. They’ll then learn the important step of figuring out how you’re going to reach those goals by breaking them down into achievable steps. You can’t just set goals and cross your fingers that they’ll come true, you need to work out a plan and work hard to make them come true. It's important when using goal setting, that goals be measurable and realistic. During my time at Concordia, I would have players submit in writing personal goals for the season. Invariably each year, I would get goals along the lines of " give my best effort every practice" . It's great to strive for that, however that isn't really a goal in the sense of goal setting. Success doesn't just happen - Most athletes, at least the ones that are honest with themselves and with the process, will learn that the best players are usually the players that have worked the hardest on improving their game. While talent definitely plays its role early on, sooner or later it’s the hardest workers that rise to the top. This will show them that if they want to become great at anything, whether that be the guitar, learning a foreign language, then it’s going to take hard work. And a lot of it. There are no short cuts. There’s no magic words. Being great at something takes hard, consistent work. As the team begins to see their hard work paying off, make sure to point out to them that it’s their consistent, hard work that has led them to these improvements. This would also be a good time to point out how they will see similar improvements if they work hard at anything else they want to do or achieve in life. There’s only a certain amount of time in each day and players will soon realize that they can’t do everything. They’ll have to sacrifice certain things to spend more time on what they consider more important. This requires players to determine their priorities which is a great skill for later in life. Players will realize that if they’re determined to put in the work to be the best possible version of themselves, whether in sports or any other activity, they give themselves a chance at success. This will lead to making choices. They’ll be forced to use their time more productively. This will help them decide what their priorities are and what are the best choices they can make. Winning with Class, Losing with Dignity -In youth sports there is definitely a right and a wrong way to win.I’ve seen some disgusting acts of sportsmanship from players and coaches on winning teams. Mocking their opponents, refusing to shake hands, and other forms of horrible behavior. Good coaches will teach their players how to be proud of their achievements without putting down their opponents.This often involves shaking hands after the game with the referees and opposition players and giving a few words of encouragement. Of course the flip side of winning with class, is accepting a loss with dignity, or at least accepting disappointing outcomes. Youth sports is the ultimate environment for players to experience the emotions and feelings that come from failure and defeat since there are in most cases, no long-term consequences of losing. This can be after losing a grand final, being cut from a team they really wanted to make, or missing a game-winning shot. Good coaches will teach players to lose with dignity and respect, and that there is always a learning experience to come out of every loss or failure. Players should always shake the hands of the referees and the opponents after every game and not blame the loss on external sources like the referees or the field conditions. The results whether a win or loss, is a consequence of many factors all coming together in a specific manner. Many of these factors are beyond our control, so win or lose, learning how to deal with the outcome is important. Evaluating Strengths and Weaknesses - Everyone has different strengths and weaknesses.It’s important for all players to know what they’re good at and what they struggle with so that they can address their weaknesses and play to their strengths.This allows players to understand how they can best contribute to the team during games and what areas of their game they should be working on. As coaches, it is our role to put athletes in a situation where they can succeed and improve. Every team needs members whose skills sets can play a part of the overall success. Soccer teams need defenders, midfielders , forwards and goalies. Not everyone can play every role. A coaches role to to show athletes why their skills sets work best in a specific role. This is not different in the workplace. Dealing with Stress, Pressure and Adversity - Whether we like it or not, there can be a lot of pressure in youth sports. Some of this is attributed to overbearing parents who unfairly demand excellence of their children, while some of it is simply the normal pressure of close and intense games.Youth sports allows players to learn how to deal with the nerves and stress they feel in these situations in a fairly risk free environment ( although one could argue that losing a big game is very disappointing). There will undoubtedly be times where players are overwhelmed by the occasion and the pressure will get to them resulting in disappointing, and the urge to give up. Like other challenges, this is all a learning experience and will help them get comfortable with pressure situations they’ll encounter later on in life like public speaking, writing exams, or starting a new job. Being responsible for yourself and accepting life isn't always fair - Youth sports is one of the first places where children start to take on some serious responsibility. It can be something as simple as asking them to follow certain team rules, bring a water bottle, dress in the right team colors, be on time. Sports can teach them to take pride in being account and having their parents remember everything for for them. Players will also learn that they are responsible for their actions and for their own improvement. Too many times, we hear about athletes blaming coaches for lack of playing time, teammates for not passing them the ball enough or politics preventing them from making a team they try out for. However, here is the kicker, sometimes, when we make good choices, we take responsibility for our actions, make the effort, put in hard work, things just don't work out and sometimes the reasons why they don't work out are unfair. The simply truth is that sometimes, life is not fair. This is a tough rule for players to learn at an early age but one that is gradually taught nonetheless. Injuries happen. There will be missed or bad calls by the refs. A coach might not select a player to the team although everyone things he or she deserves it. A player might not start or play in the game even after a great week of training for the perceived reason that the coach is playing favorites. Things will happen and players have to learn to accept them and move on because most of the time, sulking about it isn’t going to change anything. For those unfortunate enough to experience the full power of this lesson, we’ve all heard of at least one player that has worked their butt off for months to get ready for a season and then within the first week of pre-season end up blowing out their knee which leaves them sidelined for the season. Life is tough sometimes. However, this is certainly one case where sport mirrors life. In work, love and life, things are not always going to work out. Accepting them and being able to adapt and recover is an important life skill. Perseverance is a skill that’s important for all players to learn at an early age. There will be setbacks. They will fail. There will be obstacles they must overcome. Players will experience the emotions that come with these obstacles and failures and will learn how to push through them and not quit when it gets tough. Teach your players that when times get tough and they feel like quitting to stop looking too far ahead and start thinking step-by-step. Then it comes back to consistent hard work and being patient. Remember, success doesn’t happen overnight. Coaches must make it clear that there are only two things that players can control at all times: their effort and attitude. There’s simply no point sulking over things that you can’t change. Not as fast or athletic as others ? Work on reading the player and making good early decisions. Work on fitness so that they can still be competing hard at the 90th minute ( soccer reference hear). This also goes for things that happen during the game. Think you got fouled when you turned the ball over? The referee didn’t call it so there’s no point complaining. Get back on defense and work to win it it back. Missed an open shot? It happens! Make sure you don't miss the next one and for sure don't spend 10 minutes walking around thinking about it. Players must learn that there’s no point dwelling on things that are out of their control. Move on and focus on the things you can control. Respect among teammates and for opponents - Competition is a healthy thing as far as I am concerned. You can want to be your opponent without being disrespectful. The proper etiquette and behaviors learned through sport can apply in life. Through their youth sports journey players will learn the importance of respecting those around them. Not just their coaches and the referees, but also their teammates, the opposition, and everyone else involved. For this respect to be instilled in players, there must be consequences for acting in a disrespectful manner like putting down a teammate or mocking an opponent. Coaches can’t give empty threats or it will be hard to establish respect. The players must know that when you say you’re going to do something, you mean it. Respect is to be earned and given but one shouldn't depend on the other. Players must learn that the amount of respect they show others can’t be determined by their levels of frustration or the outcome of a game. At the most basic levels, society judges success in sports by wins and losses. That is fine, but in youth sport, I think their is most more at play. The same way school can teach more to our youth than science, or math or any other subject, so can sport. Without taking away from the competitiveness of the sport, coaches must understand that the life lessons learned by players on their youth sports journey are much more important than the final score of a game. As coaches, it’s our duty to do our best to instill as many of these life lessons in our players as we can.
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AuthorAfter many years of coaching at various levels and with different teams, I thought I would share some of my experiences and thoughts about coaching. Archives
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