Today's topic is a little more personal since with the upcoming Olympics and all the segments we will be seeing about the various athletes and how sport has affected their lives, it has made me reflect on the role sport has played in my life.
Now obviously, for anyone who regularly reads my blog or might scroll through my twitter posts, I've often shared about how my work in coaching has played a big role in my life, what it has given me, how especially in the last few years, it has given me a voice to advocate for women's sports and women in sports, but sports has had provided me with much more than that. When my brothers and I were younger, our parents or perhaps better said our father, encouraged us ( perhaps pushed isn't even a strong word) to participate pretty much just in soccer. It was the sport he know and loved. While overall in terms of activities or hobbies, they allowed us to try various different things ( collectively, we tried boy scouts, music lessons of various types, art classes, swimming lessons, sailing lessons, and a few others I am surely glossing over) so that we were able to make the decision of what we wanted to focus on. Obviously, we didn't stick with all of them and with each sibling, the interests varied. Like most kids, either you pick your favorites or your parents pick for you. I was fortunate enough to be able to pick what I wanted to do myself. However, while I tried a couple of other sports eventually, soccer was the only real constant up until high school. When I arrived at high school, the soccer team was only for senior students and I didn't have the physical traits to play on any of the other team available to Grade 7s and 8s, football, basketball or volleyball, so somehow, I found myself on the wrestling team. In terms of high school spots, I think in many ways it was the perfect sport in that you found yourself pretty much competing against other athletes of the same age and weight. For me personally, being involved in this individual sport, gave me a great balance against the team dynamic I continued to experience playing soccer with my club team. Competing in wrestling, a sport where it was just me, without the safety net of teammates, taught me so much about discipline, goal setting, training, autonomy, establishing priorities, but maybe most importantly, it was a huge step for me in terms of developing my self esteem and self confidence. Whatever success I achieved, it was due to my efforts and my skills and not a result of being carried by more athletic or talented teammates. As often happens, the more success I experienced, the more confident I became, and in sport that was not as high profile as some of the others at the school, my success actually helped my confidence in among my fellow students. I can look back at my high years and realize that my involvement specifically in wrestling was a huge step in my development as a person. My involvement in athletics as an athlete and a coach has taught me important life lessons that I carry with me every day. I will never forget these life lessons that my sports have taught me. They have made me a better person and shaped me into the person I am today. I am still learning new lessons every day from sports and my team. Sports, in my opinion, consistently make you a better person. I learned about the notion of sportsmanship very early on. It may not be easy, but it is important. It makes you a better person. But what is sportsmanship? When I competed in wrestling, it was about pretty much participating in a form of fighting, trying to impose myself during the match but then at the end or during the handing out of awards, it was about being a gracious winner and a good loser ( if I may brag, just a little , I must say that aside when I got to the national stage, losing didn't happen often). shaking the hands of those I had beaten but also the hands of those who had beaten me. Although we were opponents, we were still involved in a shared experience in which everyone is trying to succeed and that there is always someone better. Good things will come to those who congratulate others on their effort and victories. My parents come to Canada a few days after their wedding with plans and a few belongings. They always had good work ethic, and the drive to do whatever was required to succeed and make a great life for themselves and their family. so with them as role models, I guess it was natural for me develop a certain determination and desire to succeed. Early on, I realized and accepted that whether in soccer or wrestling, or any other sport I might try my hand at, I was not the most naturally talented, so I made the decision that I would strive to work harder than everyone else, become a student of my sport and it permitted me to achieve a certain level of success. Even if you aren’t the most talented person, hard work means more. You must work hard in life in order to achieve your goals and fulfill your dreams. It sounds corny, but hard work does pay off. As an small aside. ironically, the one area where this mindset was not a regular part of my values is school work. School for the most part came easy to me. I guess I possess a great memory when readying, and an ease for problem solving that I was usually able to remain within the top 10% of my class, with a fraction of the study time of my peers. It would drive my parents nuts, they were constantly trying to make me see that if I studied more, imagine how great my marks would be. However, I justified my study habits with the notion that maybe, this was my skill set, to do well in school with less effort, allowing me more time to pursue other interests. Sports has taught me a lot about optimism but also the reality that optimism on the whole, is not always easy. It is very easy to get down on yourself, get mad at your coaches, or say “I can’t.” However, sports teach you that you can’t just throw your hands up in the air and give up. This type of negative attitude is detrimental, and I have learned the same in real life situations. Negativity and freaking out at the first sign of adversity only hurts you but most importantly, limits your potential. Every success athlete knows that the basis for achieving results is anchored in confidence. You must not just think, but truly believe that you have the ability to be better than your opponents. This level of confidence can sometimes drift into a aura of cockiness but that is part of sports at the highest levels. It's not about the fear of losing but rather about the ingrained belief that you can't lose. When you are confident, it shows, When the going gets tough, the tough get going, how often have we heard this saying? It's a little dramatic as a saying but it actually holds a lot truth in sports and in life. Sports by nature is a competition, individuals or teams , 2 or more, going head to head trying to do better than all their opponents. In many sports, not only are you trying to do better than your opponent, your opponent is directly trying to impede your success. The success people and teams are those that compete best under pressure or competitive stress. This mindset can be applied to life also. As the 1st two lines of the Rudyard Kipling poem IF ... says "If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you ..... " That is essence, keeping focused on task while the pressure is on and others around you are failing, this will make you successful in life and sport. Whether your involvement in sports in with a team or as an individual ( I can speak to both as I indicated earlier) you have a team you practiced with, conditioned with, and showed up to competition with. At every level of sport, there is always a team beside, behind and around you. They provide motivation, support and reassurance. They push you when you slack off, pick you up when you fall, keep you humble when you gloat. Teammates come in many different types, and the most successful endeavors are those where each member of a team knows his or her role and where the skills sets are complimentary to each other. Such is life, a well functioning work place requires people who can work together even if they don't always get along, who focus on the common goal and good and push in the same direction. You won’t get anywhere on your own in life. In every career, you need a team. You need other people to reach your goals and you need other people to win in life. Sports have taught me dedication. Once you start something, you need to finish it. Even if you want to quit or give up on something, you need to finish what you started. Their are time I wanted to stop wrestling, or playing soccer and yes even coaching as much as I love it. However, I never wanted to let teammates down or my athletes. It is disrespectful to give up on yourself and on your team mid-season. This applies to real life as well. If you are in the middle of a project, you won't quit. Finish what you start and then and only then, choose to move on if that is what is best for you. Sports have taught me how to manage my time wisely. When I wrestled, I would practice for at least 3 hours a day, 4 times a week. and needed to do homework in addition to that. I would get my homework done before practice, and at one point, I even went on a modified schedule to be able to have more time for schoolwork. I grew up with the mentality that academics came first. I could participate in my sports as long as my grades were up to par. Today, in my role as coach, I balance a full time job, 11 weeks of an intense fall schedule in soccer, with practices and games 5 or 6 times a week, recruiting in the off season, winter season training and games, administrative duties related to the coaching, plus yes a home life. Time management is crucial if I want to be at my best in each of those roles. Staying rested, eating well, preparing as required are all important factors to ensuring success and it all comes down to time, finding it in order to handle all the tasks. I feel very privileged that I was able to be so involved in sports growing up. I can’t imagine what I would do without them in my life. They have shaped me into the person I am today, and without them, I may not have ever learned these valuable life lessons that I carry with me. Sports allowed to enhance my Spanish roots through my love of soccer and Spain holding the World Cup in 1982 ( check on the link to this post) why-i-love-soccer.html and discover my voice in advocating for women's soccer , women in soccer and sport generally. It has defined me in many ways and allowed to live some life experiences that I would never have been able to without sports. Sports have influenced who I am as a man, how I am as a manager, and developed my confidence and self esteem. As I get older, being active, being involved in sports has allowed me to remain relatively healthy. I would never suggest that sports will have these benefits for everyone. There are many very successful and accomplished people for whom sports was never a regular activity, but when they take place in a positive environment, sports can teach some many life lessons that will help you well past your active playing days.
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AuthorAfter many years of coaching at various levels and with different teams, I thought I would share some of my experiences and thoughts about coaching. Archives
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