A few weeks ago I turned 53 years old. How did I get here? There are those that say, age is just a number ( I think usually people that are getting older will say that), but I do agree that simply looking at one's numerical age doesn't sum up who the person is.
Turning another year older isn’t so terrible. As we age, we’ve got many things to look forward to. Like back pain, feet hurting, getting tired from just standing, getting achy from driving long distances, hair loss in some places and hair growth in others, wrinkles, forgetting passwords, insomnia, age spots, needing reading glasses, no longer seeing the fun in late night partying, the inability to drink beer, wine or any booze for that matter at the levels we seem to remember doing so when we were younger and all-around realization that there is more road behind us than there is looking forward. The funniest jokes are often funnier because they have a grain of truth and as much as I wish I were only joking around with this list, most of these experiences are realities for myself and those of my entourage in my age bracket. Aging is a chronological measurement of days, months and years since our birth. It is a straight line progression, each day we are a little bit older than the day before. While we can deal with the effects of getting older, there is absolutely no solution for the actual process of aging, and no cryogenics is not a viable option. What we can do however is make the choice how we deal with aging. As I mentioned at the start of this piece, I recently turned 53, I self-admittedly retired from coaching, using the simple fact that I say I am retired from coaching and not simply that I no longer want to coach or that I am taking some time off from coaching, is indicative of the mindset. I am slowly looking ahead and planning my retirement from work which is somewhere in the 4 to 5 years max away. Between coaching at the university level and working in a cegep with students in the 17 to 19 age group, has made it very apparent over the last few years, how big the age gap is, not just in the simple number of years but in how life is approached. I have always considered myself young at heart, in tune with the changing times and in touch with the younger "folks" but the truth be told, there is no escaping the fact that I am a middle aged man who is going through another reality. People in their 30s sometimes seem as kids to me, and sometimes that itself is eye opening because I still see myself as having been in that age bracket not so long ago. All things considered, I really am lucky. I am still fairly physically active, I have all my wits about me, some aches and pains aside, I am in generally good health and I think that a few aging signs aside I still look pretty good ( and I am actually at my lowest weight in close to 15 years). No one wants to read that aging sucks, anymore than we want that person that is constantly talking about how easy today's youth have it, or how things were so much better when WE were young. Getting older is inevitable and whether you choose to tolerate your wrinkled face or have it surgically touched up, we can find arguments to validate that we are screwed no matter which option we choose. Having said all this, still, when we consider the alternative, we ain’t dead yet People that say, “You’re not getting older, you’re getting better,” are people that are not as old as us. Those of us that are on the exiting our 40s and into our 50s know for a stone-cold fact that we are not getting better, but rather perhaps we are simply choosing to look at life through a different perspective. When you think all is lost and that the odds are against you. At what point do you keep going while other people quit? Some people continue, if for no other reason than to just keep going, while others give up. And that, in my opinion is what things like exercise, eating well, making healthy choices, staying physically and mentally active can teach us about staying as young as possible for as long as possible. We keep fighting, keep showing each day, accepting where we are in our life with a view looking forward and keep trying. Getting older is inevitable, I am older today than I was yesterday, but it doesn’t matter that it is inevitably a losing battle. Because this is what we non-quitters do. Even if the odds seem insurmountable, the odds do not matter. Make the most of life, never stop having the desire to learn something new, don't buy into stereotypes that certain activities, mindsets and behaviors are age-appropriate and age specific. Plus if you are really lucky, you are able to find the humor in life and keep laughing, even if that means sometimes laughing at yourself. With age comes wisdom, or so the saying goes. therefore perhaps substituting “happiness” for “wisdom” may be equally true. While growing happier and more satisfied as we move into our later years may seem contradictory, if I use myself as an example, it is possible that this can be the case. If I think back to my situation and that of some friends in my entourage, I could probably put together anecdotal supporting date that would indicate a trend where people might tend to experience well being or fulfillment is a type in a “u-shaped curve,” or certainly nothing in a line parallel to the straight line aging curve with the least fulfilled years falling in the early-to-mid 40s. Many people as they navigate their 20s and 30s, set the bar high for themselves both personally and professionally. If they haven’t achieved those goals by our 40s, some tend to plunge into the depression and dissatisfaction associated with so the so-called mid-life crises. After a type of bottoming-out in the mid-40s, moods improve and things might start looking up. Why? One reason may be that we get smarter, at least about some things. Certain types of mental tasks may actually become easier in our 50s and 60s, as we apply our accumulated knowledge. When we get through our 40s, we have a more realistic sense of those things that are truly important to us and will bring fulfillment, and we’re able to set new goals and focus on achieving them. We might spend the early decades as teenagers and then into our adult years, chasing the ideals of who we want to be, or imagine ourselves becoming, then by the time we reach our 50s and 60s, we tend to have a change of heart. After our mid-40s reality check and our resulting sense of purpose and renewal, we’re able to take stock of our lives with a clear eye and appreciate where we’ve come, how we got there, and what we achieved along the way. So you maybe we didn't achieve everything we had planned out as we entered our 20s, maybe we have had to adjust and adapt our plans but isn't that better than just aging. Doesn't having a sense of control where we can choose which path to take feel better than just accepting that we are getting older and can't do anything about it? I have gone through a few evolutions of myself. I can say with all honestly that today, I am quite different than who I imagined myself being when I finished university and started dating my wife.. but that is ok, I am very OK actually. I looking forward to what happens next.
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AuthorAfter many years of coaching at various levels and with different teams, I thought I would share some of my experiences and thoughts about coaching. Archives
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