This past weekend I attended the 2018 USport National Women's Soccer championships. The eight top women's university soccer teams vying for the national title for themselves and their respective conferences.
Between 2003 and 2015, I attended the championship each year as a non-participating coach. For a majority of those years, under the previous structure, the championship included the annual AGM of the women's soccer coaches association ( of which I was the president for 6 years). It was a chance for coaches across Canada to get together and discuss relevant topics to the women's game and vote on proposed changes or regulations to the championships themselves. It was also a great chance for many coaches to get together as friends over dinner and drinks and discuss shared experiences. Over the years some enduring friendships developed between myself and other coaches. Circumstances made it impossible for me to attend the last two years however with this year's tournament taking place in Ottawa, it was a great chance to watch some great soccer and catch up with some friends. Even though there were quite a few who I have not seen in years, it didn't take long for the bonds to come through and all the factors that made us friends to show themselves. The coaching brotherhood is quite unique, we can be rivals, peers and friends all at the same time. In my 27 years of coaching, of course there were opposing coaches that I didn't particular get along with, or even agree with how they carried themselves but rarely did I have any real heated rivalry with anyone. I always respect my opponents for the simple fact that I could understand what they might be going through but most importantly, I developed some great friendship as I could separate them as people from being rival coaches. Seeing my former peers in person reminded me of the role that sports can play in developing long lasting friendships. Over my years of participating in sports either as player, coach, or administrator, the people that I consider some of my closest friends I’ve met through my involvement in sports. To this day, people that I have met via sports remain very close. It doesn't matter how much time might pass without seeing them, they remain what I consider close friends and with today ease of communication, there are always an email, text or DM away. Sports are a wonderful way of making friendships. I have seen many of my athletes who first met during recruiting visits or at training camp, develop friendships which have endured long after their playing days are done. Sports brought them together and sports is the link that binds them. As a player, you spend countless hours on a practice field or in game situations and you share those experiences with only a handful of people, teammates. You sweat together, fight with each other, compete for positions and playing time against one another, and sometimes hate your coach together for what they’ve put you through. As a coach, the rewards are many. The satisfaction you get when everything comes together and the players get the rewards for their hard work is like nothing else. Watching a player make an adjustment to their game or to correct a mistake that you’ve counseled them over warms your heart, even if you don’t get credit for it. If you work with them long enough you get to watch your young players turn in to young adults. You watch your players turn from someone you’ve mentored to someone you consider a friend. One of my favorite things is to run in to an old player and see how they’re doing in college or to attend one of their weddings or child’s birthday party. When I need help with either a sports-related problem or one in other parts of my life, sometimes the only people I feel comfortable talking to are other coaches that have shared similar experiences. We can share scouting reports, discuss player and parent issues, critique the recent performance of common referees, and share in each other’s success (when it’s not against “us”). The amount of time that we all spend together when traveling to tournaments, sitting on the sidelines between games or even winding down at the hotel help us to identify similar qualities and interests in each other that help to form and strengthen those friendships. As good as the friendships can be that you make through sports, there are also many friendships that have been soured or strained as a result of our involvement in sports. When a player begins to think that his individual performance outweighs the importance of team chemistry, his teammates may hold their resentment for his newfound attitude against him both on and off the field. When a group of teammates feel that they are the only ones that can make a difference on the outcome and keep the play to themselves, the results can be devastating to the team. There is plenty of opportunity for disagreement within a coaching staff that could lead to strained relationships. I can’t tell you how many times my assistant coaches and I have butted heads. If we didn’t have a solid base in our friendship and respect for each other’s opinions, our friendships and potential coaching relationships may have ended a long time ago. Then there’s the whole experience of having to make cuts. I used to have a mentor in business that told me “I’ve made a lot of bad hires in my time, but never a bad firing.” The same could be said for selecting the players for your team, except for the fact that you’re dealing with younger individuals who often times are so tied into their sports participation that it is important to understand the effect your selection will have on their lives. The ever-present concern over the amount of playing time your child gets or the way the coach handles her in a difficult situation because of a mistake on the field can lead to unfriendly confrontations between coach and parent. It’s the friendships that endure through those times that matter the most. When you a part of a team there is nothing more important than those relationships you build on the fields of battle. As I had once written before, coaching was something I did but not the sum total of who I am. Sports brought me together with others that I would never have met if not for my role in coaching and hopefully those friendships, the truly genuine ones will carry one even though I am no longer coaching. So, to Amit, Alex, Paul, José, Chad, Rob, Peyvand, Liz, Tracy, Jessie,Dean, Rob, and Beth who I had not seen is quite a while, I hope we stay in touch. I can never say never but I CAN say it is highly unlikely I will coach again, so while the soccer is done, I have our friendships built over time endure.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorAfter many years of coaching at various levels and with different teams, I thought I would share some of my experiences and thoughts about coaching. Archives
January 2023
Categories
All
|