Over the years, I have given many different forms of presentations or workshops on coaching and the role of coaches. As I have mentioned many times in different posts, one main foundation of my coaching philosophy is that the athletes always comes first, that it should always be about them. Another point I tend to share with young or aspiring coaches in the fact that while it is in everybody's nature to want to be liked, this can never be a overriding consideration when having to make decisions. By the simple nature of team sports, and being a coach, it means that many decisions, every the very best ones, will disappoint someone.
I always use the phrase, " it is more important to be respected and trusted than it is to be liked and popular". The reality is that if you manage to be the first two, the other two can usually but not always follow. However, even if you do everything right, the simple fact is that as the title for today's post says " And sometimes you just don't like you" A few years ago, a coaching peer and opponent who is also a good friend had his team going through an incredible 3 year run of success. They end up winning two national championships in three years, with a national bronze medal in between, combined 3 league and playoff titles and 4 straight indoor league titles. His teams put together a win - loss record that coaches can mostly fantasize about. We were talking before a game and he started telling me how he was having conduct issues with two players who had bad attitudes because they felt the coach wasn't playing them as much as they deserved. They felt they were better than players on the field. Given all the team's success, the coach could easily point out that he must be doing something right, and yet his players felt they had legitimate complaints. Imagine, just think what this must be like on less successful teams where the athletes can use the validation that if they were playing, maybe the team would win more. The point of that little story? Simply, the fact is that on every team, you will have weaker, less talented players and in some cases, rather than take accountability for their lack of playing time, they will put it on the coach. I have lived many examples of players who "liked" me strictly based on their playing time and it was interesting how quickly their level of like could change as their playing time did. It is something that every coach of every team, especially the most competitive ones has to deal with. Tough players and tough situations are a reality of competitive sports and coaching and dealing with them is a must. No coach ever truly wants to deal with tough coaching situations or more commonly, problem athletes. Soon or later, you are going to run into that one athlete who will make you wonder why you wanted to coach in the first place. Instinct tells you to get rid of this particular player. However, you should never dismiss any member of the team unless of course as a last resort. You will find as a coach that dealing with problem athletes is part of your job. This is not always an easy task, but you must keep in mind that no matter how many problems are created by one particular athlete, it’s your job to make possibly a difference in their life. The problem athlete can make you feel exhausted, and you must ensure that this does not affect your overall coaching techniques. No matter how frustrating it is in dealing with this one particular athlete, you have a whole team of individuals who are depending on you. No one said that coaching was easy. There will be players who will engage into a battle of wits with you. They purposely show up late for practice and workouts or possibly not wear their practice uniform, for example. They will exhibit rude and negative behavior that will truly get on your last nerve. You want to nip this in the tail early on because negative behavior being exhibited by one player can quickly infect the rest of your team. As a coach, you need to be on the lookout for these types of players, and there are particular traits these athletes contain.
You must exhibit extreme wisdom when dealing with problem athletes. Sometimes you are dealing with athletes who are no longer cared about not only by their families but the system. You do not want to give up on them for you might be their last hope for reformation. As a coach, you should be a shinning example for all your athletes, especially the troubled ones. Always be on your best behavior around your team, therefore, showing them a great role model. You cannot expect your players to practice good behavior when you don’t perform a good behavior, too. Enforce the rules to your team. You do not have to be your teams counselor, but you should stress that rules are to be followed and ensure that you are there, if your players need you, even if only to listen to them. You must determine which behaviors are to be addressed and which behaviors should be ignored. Problem athletes will stretch this limit for you, and you will often find yourself being greatly annoyed, but you are better off ignoring the annoyances while focusing your time and energy on positive behavior. Do not allow your ego to get in the way of dealing with problem athletes. Any experienced coach will inform you that your ego should not be the reason for kicking a player off the team. As I stated earlier, players deserve your time and concentration. Give the problem player a chance for you might be the only chance they have. And, after all that, if you do everything exactly as described, your teams win every game you every play, you are consistent, transparent, truthful, honest, sincere, inspiring, motivating and always put the needs of you athletes before anything else.... sometimes, they just don't like you !
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
AuthorAfter many years of coaching at various levels and with different teams, I thought I would share some of my experiences and thoughts about coaching. Archives
January 2023
Categories
All
|